Saturday, December 13, 2008

He can take it

Why is it that I tend to take the responsibility on my shoulders? Responsibility for my friends' well-being, the stranger who does not know Christ, the decisions that other people make that will impact their own lives, the health of our kids in Nigeria, the ever-increasing and oh, so burdening needs we have to care for all these kids.... (this last one is really weighing on me). It's like I somehow feel that in my feeble, limited, and biased understanding of life, that I can actually have the power within these bones and marrow to really make a difference. I mean, why would I trust this body and mind that are decaying minute by minute, have failed me time and time again, and continue to drive me nuts by their weakness... and yet I still have a tendency to think "Ok, Self, let's get to it, make this work, get things done, make a difference." Geez, what pride and ignorance and just plain stupidity. Now, I am not condemning myself here, just stating the facts. And I am really just reminding myself that I am not able to do anything of eternal value within my own strength, intellect, ability, or even determination. Everything done within my own 'strength' will get burned up and won't last. I am reminded tonight that Eternal Significance is not what is seen, but what is unseen. What a relief to know that the things I see, that you see, are not really all there is. There is more, oh so much more!!!

Father, please forgive me for even thinking for a second that I can accomplish anything of eternal worth apart from You. Thank You for the Holy Spirit Who instructs, convicts, and guides. I don't want to be the same person day after day. In my inmost being, I want to grow, to be molded, to decrease in my selfish ambitions and vain deceit. How foolish of me to get anxious about finances in our ministry - they are YOUR children whom You have brought to us and You will take care of them! You love them as much as You love me. You love me as much as You love them! I receive Your love and forgiveness and pray that not by my meek might, nor by my pathetic power, but by Your Spirit will You move mountains and show Yourself mighty in Power, Provision, and Peace! In the Name of Jesus, the Name Above All Names, I pray. Amen and Amen.

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