Name them one by one

There are a handful of blogs that I check on a regular basis. If these folks don't regularly post something, I get frustrated. Especially since they are mostly in Nigeria, working with the kids I love and miss so terribly much, and their blogs make me feel closer to 'home'. Then I started thinking that maybe I should be better at posting snippets myself. :)

Today I went back to the 'Pain Clinic' - yep, that is its name. The good 'ol nerves that got damaged thanks to the chest tubes are going to be acting up for awhile, so I have to stay on top of them, or the pain is pretty intense. If you have had Shingles, then you know what I am talking about. Let me back up.... about a month ago I got my first round of 6 injections of steroids in my side (!). However, those did not work (!). A dear man from my church in TX had been keeping close tabs on me, since he is an anesthesiologist and a supporter of mine. A week after the 6 shots, I was pretty miserable. I called him on a Sunday evening and asked if he would be able to work me in to see someone in the morning (never hurts to ask). He told me he'd call me right back. When he called, he asked how long it would take me to get to the hospital. I paused, waiting, and then said, 'You mean, now?' - it was 8pm on a Sunday. So my dad drove me to a back entrance, where this precious man met us and took us back to the surgery department, where his colleague was on-call that night. One hour and 10 more injections later, I walked out of there with bad memories of the injections, but feeling oh so good. Back to today... although I was feeling pretty good, the doctor suggested I go ahead and get more injections (10 more!) so that I will feel pretty much pain-free for awhile. Yeah for that!...

Also, Aunty Erin got to talk to about 20 of her boys in Nigeria today! That was a wonderful 2 hours and money very well spent, I tell you. They just encouraged me so much. One of the younger ones got very serious and said 'Aunty, I have a verse for you. It is Psalm 3:4 'To the Lord, I cry out and He answers me from His holy hill.' Is that not precious or what? They are all so excited about camp, which will be in a couple weeks....

The Chicago Moody Church team is all ready to head out to Nigeria on Friday. I have been so blessed to be a part of the camp preparations on this end of things. I co-directed the camp last year with my co-worker Elisha. In my absence, my dear friend Nicky has stepped up and has done an amazing job getting things prepared. A lot of the camp info was stuck in my head and not on a computer file...so, emails have flown back and forth and phone calls galore - and things are looking good. I had a lot of fun shopping for supplies, games, prizes, etc for the team to take over (about 70 pounds worth of stuff !)....

I am also so thankful that I am feeling so much better (26 shots later:) and signed up for a month's membership at a fitness center here in Salado. Today was my second day and I am sore, but very happy to be rehabilitating myself. As I have said to many and now it is coming back to kick me..... if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of others.

It's been a good day. It really does help to count your blessings, name them one by one.....

I miss the girls....

I miss the sweet, sweet girls. The highlight of my week is when I would drive out to Gyero on Tuesday afternoon's and spend the night. To get there, I drive down a highway for about 20 minutes. Then I turn off onto a dirt road full of potholes and dust (or mud in the rainy season)--- and beautiful farmland and birds and hills--- for another 15 minutes. One of my favorite things was when I would drive up to the concrete wall surrounding the girls compound and all of them would come running to my truck saying 'Aunty Erin, Aunty Erin' and I would get 10 hugs and smiles. Then they would follow me around to the back of my truck and 'help' me open it. I would usually have lots of stuff with me (pillow, blanket, bag, activities for the girls, food) and so the girls would all want to carry something for me. We would then walk to their little building , where there are 2 rooms us missionary gals sleep in.

We would dump everything in there and then play until it got dark. I loved just sitting with them and listening to them laugh and let them play with my hair and sit on my lap.

In the evening, the older girls would help Mama (staff mother) cook dinner in one pot over the fire. We usually had rice and beans and I would dish it out in their tin bowls. They would come to me one at a time and after I served them, they would do a little curtsy, a cultural sign of respect. Then we would all sit on the floor and eat rice and beans (I usually just ate a little and then had a snack in my room later :). I loved how, when they finished eating, one by one they would say 'Thank you, Aunty', 'Thank you, Mama', curtsying to us as they do so. Very cute!! By that time it would be dark, so we'd gather in a little room they called the 'Parlor', to play games.

When bedtime came, we all went into their room, where they climbed into their bunkbeds. The little ones slept two by two (their choice and Oh, so adorable!). We all would cover our heads with a headtie before our nightly devotional (a cultural sign of respect to God). Then one of the girls would lead us in some songs (their voices are so beautiful). I would share from the Bible and they would share their memory verses and then we all prayed. A wonderful result of our time together - one of the first times I was out there, I encouraged the girls to pray about having a friend at school who they can encourage and even witness to. Over the months, the girls would show me letters their new friends had written to them, they shared how they prayed with their friends, and even a few girls witnessed to their M friends!

God really loves every single person all over the world and will use whomever is willing to share about His love! After devotions, I would tuck each of them in and kiss each of them on the forehead before leaving their room.

As part of the Nigerian Christian culture, we would wake up at 6am and have devotions again (well, the church bell would ring at 5am to combat the M call the prayer at the other end of the village - so that always woke us up first!) It was so precious and a wonderful way to start the day. After this, the girls would get busy sweeping the compound (swept dirt really does look better), making their beds, and then would run to the bathing building (made of concrete). They would line up and Mama Sati would scrub the little ones down from head to toe. The would just crouch down and let her have at them - it was adorable! The water had been warmed over the fire and was put into buckets and carried to the bath house. After a girl was finished, she would run back, dripping wet, with a towel wrapped around her and wait in the parlor until all of the were in there. Then they would start putting Vaseline all over each other's body's! This actually really keeps their skin beautiful and all Nigerians do this. After that we got them all ready for school and sent them off.

Here's a pic of the 'original 10', plus a staff child. The girls center opened Dec. 2006. The ministry decided to care for the first group of 10 for a long time before adding more. Of course, there are many more orphans and abused children in the Jos area, but we really wanted to go slowly so that we cared for each girl properly and thoughtfully. Right after I left, 3 new girls were added. I wish I could be there, but I know that many are praying for them. I've been blessed to see how many people love these precious girls who live in a village in Nigeria. In the above picture, a 90+ year old woman handmade the hats, each taking 8 hours! Other people have shown love by sending letters and funding projects. One team brought Crocs for all the kids! A perfect shoe to have in a village climate.

Loving the children in our ministry (almost 400 of them total!) is definitely a team effort and requires lots of hands and hearts to thrive. Although I miss these precious girls, I know the Lord will provide for their every need.

Suffering and Surrender

My mind is always going a mile a minute. It seems I am constantly thinking about Nigeria, the differences of life in America, the blessings I have, the pain I am feeling (physical and emotional), frustration, grief (missing Nigeria SO much), gratitude for all the love and support from family, friends and supporters, anger at being limited physically, joy when playing cards with my mom or having a good chat with my dad, laughter with my brother who makes funny comments with a smirk.... My prayers have consisted of tears, thanksgiving, questions, anger, asking for help to surrender, to trust, to obey, to listen to His voice... but God has not been speaking to me in ways I sometimes hope (I want Him to tell me what is next in my life and what to expect). However, He keeps asking me/telling me to surrender. At first I was like - hello, I did surrender! You plead for workers for the harvest, and I went and I love it and I am desperate to go back. How prideful of me.

But He has gently been teaching me over the past few months that it really is a daily surrender - I now understand Hebrews 13:5 - a sacrifice of praise - trusting and praising Him even if I don't feel like it and that it is to be daily (Romans 12).

A year ago a friend told me about a book, 'Hinds Feet on High Places'. When I was on my way home in April, God told me to read the book. I dragged my feet (because I figured whatever He wanted to teach me from it would require obedience :0) because once He speaks, you gotta respond.)....., but finally ordered it. I am so glad I did.

It is an allegory about a character 'Much Afraid' who has two traveling companions 'Sorrow' and 'Suffering'. (hmmm) They are on a journey to get to the High Places, where the Shepherd lives and promises joy and freedom. They face many obstacles, including traveling through a desert, with the High Places out of sight.

When they reach the desert, Much Afraid cries out to the Shepherd, "You really mean that I am to follow that path down and down into that wilderness and then over that desert, away from the mountains indefinitely? Why ( and there was a sob of anguish in her voice ) it may be months, even years before that path leads me back to the mountains again. O Shepherd, do You mean it is indefinite postponement?'

The Shepherd replied 'It is only postponement for the best to become possible... Do you love Me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise and go down there with me into the desert?'

He was leading her away from her heart's desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when He would bring her back.

Much Afraid replied with tears and trembling, "Even if You cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with You, for You know that I do love You, and You have the right to choose for me anything that You please." pgs 109,110

The last couple months have been a roller coaster of emotions, as various people offer their advice about what decision I should make regarding living in Nigeria. At first, and at times still do, I blocked them out because they were not saying what I wanted to hear.

But as I pray, read the Word and this book, I am constantly convicted that I need to trust the Lord. I don't know what He wants yet, in regards to my living in Nigeria. But I do know what He requires of me now, and I pray He gives me the strength to obey.

Here are a few quotes in the accompanying devotion that have jumped out at me:

"One way to suffer is to have what you do not want, and want what you do not have."pg.113

"If we hold anything to ourselves, refusing to give it to Jesus, or if we do not obey a request He makes of us, then that has blocked His voice to us. We need to give those things to Him and get back into His companionship."pg.119

"He will never waste our sorrows... Let me never be found resisting what you are birthing or bringing forth in me."pg.117

One day at a time, right? That's what He commands of us. Thank goodness.