Why I said no to a free trip to Africa

God whispered to my heart yesterday.

I was struggling through what my answer should be regarding whether or not to go to Ghana for two weeks in October. Very generous friends invited me to join them for a 2 week trip to Ghana and offered to pay for it!! Wow. The opportunity to return to Africa, the land I LOVE, for Free!!

I felt the Lord was giving me freedom to make the choice, but I desired to please Him and to be at peace.
Before I left Chicago, a dear woman blessed me with a book: Handbook to Prayer by Kenneth Boa. It provides many Scriptures to pray through every day. Yesterday this was a section given:

"Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to judge this great people of Yours?" God said to Solomon, "Because this was in your heart and you have not asked for riches, wealth or honor, nor for the life of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to judge My people over whom I have made you king, wisdom and knowledge will be given to you." 2 Chronicles 1:10-11

These words encouraged me because I felt that God had been sooo silent in this month of prayer regarding Ghana. But after reading this, I knew that God was telling me that He delights in giving us wisdom and knowledge when we ask in pure motives. Aha! Motives. Here is what followed(no kidding):

Holy Spirit: "Erin, what is so appealing to you about this trip to Ghana?"

Erin: "Well, it is a free trip. It is to Africa. It is with friends I love."

Holy Spirit: "Those are good reasons. But are those pure reasons? By going on this trip, will your gifts and abilities I have given you be really used?"

Erin: "I don't really know what they are going to be doing on the trip. They invited me last minute, so they really don't need me. But it is FREE.

Holy Spirit: "Do you think I am limited by money?! Do you not think I will provide for you when the time is right to return to Africa?? Will this trip to Ghana be the wisest use of the gifts I have given you: abilities, passions, money, time??

Erin: (silence)

Holy Spirit: "The reasons you gave to go to Ghana are all about you. Serving Me should never be about you."

Erin: "Wow. Ok, true. Thank You for showing me! Ok, not going to Ghana" ((peace))

Hmmm, got my attention big time. I immediately then shifted to the opportunity I have to go to California to attend a Global Forum on Human Trafficking in October (someone offered to pay for my plane ticket). I felt so excited about this because I am secure in fact that the Lord is asking for laborers in this harvest field and that I have been praying to be put to work! I knew the Holy Spirit was confirming that THIS is what He is providing for at this time. I will also get to visit a sweet friend, Bonny, who just moved to California! Ha ha! I LOVE how God is SOOO personal, SO loving!!

So Amen and Halleluyerrr. I have SUCH peace now and am just so thankful that He desires ME.

"May I not be worried and troubled about many things; only one thing is needed. Like Mary, may I choose the good part; which will not be taken away from me." Luke 10:41-42

The good part, as Mary displayed, is being at the feet of Jesus and reveling in His presence. All else will fade away, but He will never leave.

Love, Erin

PS - Sooo many times I have wanted to post something here, but then think "so much is going on, it is hard to catch up and where do I start?". But writing/typing is so therapeutic for me that I just need to do it! And hope you can follow!

PPS -Oh yeah, God spoke to me in a dream last night!! I am praying through it and will get back to you about that. ;)