Why I said no to a free trip to Africa

God whispered to my heart yesterday.

I was struggling through what my answer should be regarding whether or not to go to Ghana for two weeks in October. Very generous friends invited me to join them for a 2 week trip to Ghana and offered to pay for it!! Wow. The opportunity to return to Africa, the land I LOVE, for Free!!

I felt the Lord was giving me freedom to make the choice, but I desired to please Him and to be at peace.
Before I left Chicago, a dear woman blessed me with a book: Handbook to Prayer by Kenneth Boa. It provides many Scriptures to pray through every day. Yesterday this was a section given:

"Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to judge this great people of Yours?" God said to Solomon, "Because this was in your heart and you have not asked for riches, wealth or honor, nor for the life of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to judge My people over whom I have made you king, wisdom and knowledge will be given to you." 2 Chronicles 1:10-11

These words encouraged me because I felt that God had been sooo silent in this month of prayer regarding Ghana. But after reading this, I knew that God was telling me that He delights in giving us wisdom and knowledge when we ask in pure motives. Aha! Motives. Here is what followed(no kidding):

Holy Spirit: "Erin, what is so appealing to you about this trip to Ghana?"

Erin: "Well, it is a free trip. It is to Africa. It is with friends I love."

Holy Spirit: "Those are good reasons. But are those pure reasons? By going on this trip, will your gifts and abilities I have given you be really used?"

Erin: "I don't really know what they are going to be doing on the trip. They invited me last minute, so they really don't need me. But it is FREE.

Holy Spirit: "Do you think I am limited by money?! Do you not think I will provide for you when the time is right to return to Africa?? Will this trip to Ghana be the wisest use of the gifts I have given you: abilities, passions, money, time??

Erin: (silence)

Holy Spirit: "The reasons you gave to go to Ghana are all about you. Serving Me should never be about you."

Erin: "Wow. Ok, true. Thank You for showing me! Ok, not going to Ghana" ((peace))

Hmmm, got my attention big time. I immediately then shifted to the opportunity I have to go to California to attend a Global Forum on Human Trafficking in October (someone offered to pay for my plane ticket). I felt so excited about this because I am secure in fact that the Lord is asking for laborers in this harvest field and that I have been praying to be put to work! I knew the Holy Spirit was confirming that THIS is what He is providing for at this time. I will also get to visit a sweet friend, Bonny, who just moved to California! Ha ha! I LOVE how God is SOOO personal, SO loving!!

So Amen and Halleluyerrr. I have SUCH peace now and am just so thankful that He desires ME.

"May I not be worried and troubled about many things; only one thing is needed. Like Mary, may I choose the good part; which will not be taken away from me." Luke 10:41-42

The good part, as Mary displayed, is being at the feet of Jesus and reveling in His presence. All else will fade away, but He will never leave.

Love, Erin

PS - Sooo many times I have wanted to post something here, but then think "so much is going on, it is hard to catch up and where do I start?". But writing/typing is so therapeutic for me that I just need to do it! And hope you can follow!

PPS -Oh yeah, God spoke to me in a dream last night!! I am praying through it and will get back to you about that. ;)

Saying Good-Bye to Chicago and Hello to Texas - in pictures

I arrived in Texas last week! I am staying at my parents house while I get my TX nursing license reactivated, look for a job, and look for a place to live in Austin. Below are picture albums from my last couple weeks in Chicago and my first week home in Texas. Title of the album is followed by a link. On each picture, you can see the caption by scrolling the mouse over the pictures. If we aren't already 'friends' on Facebook, feel free to connect!  Enjoy!


This is Me Not Packing

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150616981030603.680382.573515602&l=a7119469bd

 
Road Trip

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150628403800603.683993.573515602&l=bc376fad75



Welcome Home

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150631651535603.685124.573515602&l=de2fd3638f



New Life In TX

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150635829085603.686727.573515602&l=96899b8fba

video

If you receive my blog updates via email, you'll need to click on "Erin's Entry" to view the powerful video that goes along with the lyrics on previous post.

Go on up to the mountain of mercy

To the crimson perpetual tide

Kneel down on the shore

Be thirsty no more

Go under and be purified

Follow Christ to the holy mountain

Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall

Cleanse your heart and your soul

In the fountain that flowed

For you and for me and for all

CHORUS:

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree

On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me

Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white

On that beautiful, scandalous night

On the hillside, you will be delivered

At the foot of the cross justified

And your spirit restored

By the river that pours

From our blessed Savior's side

CHORUS

Go on up to the mountain of mercy

To the crimson perpetual tide

Kneel down on the shore

Be thirsty no more

Go under and be purified

Texas!

Hey y'all! I am moving to Texas!!! I will be leaving Chicago at the end of May/beginning of June. There is so much in this story to share with you and I hope I will make the effort to blog all about it soon.

Kingdom

Back in December I was having dinner with a friend and we were talking about the new year that was around the corner. She mentioned that for a few years she has picked a word to focus on for the whole year. The word guided her thoughts and her prayers, her readings and her conversations. One year she chose a word that she needed to work on, like 'patience'. The next year she chose an attribute of God's character, such as 'Provider'. I thought it was a great concept, but, like I do too many times, I forgot about it. (maybe my word should be 'Remember'.)

Then last week I was listening to the radio and a pastor was talking about the very same approach. He started doing this 5 years ago. He then encouraged his congregation to all have a word to focus on and learn to live by. He can immediately associate a word to a year. Like, 2005 = freedom because he can testify to all the lessons and ways he learned about living in freedom. After listening to him share, I could really understand the benefits to having a word.

I immediately knew what my word for 2011 is - Kingdom.

I had already been contemplating this word for about a month. One day in December, God brought a hurting young lady to my office at church. Whenever I counsel/sit with someone in a lot of pain and in need of a lot of wisdom, I constantly pray as she talks so that I will know how each of my responses should be. Many times I am being taught while sharing with someone. I love how God does that.

I told her we have a choice. We can either choose to build our own kingdom or we can choose to build God's kingdom. 

Erin's Kingdom - I want everything to worship me and to revolve around me. If something inconveniences me or gets in my way, I get irritated or honk my horn. How dare they? Don't they know who I am? If someone says something mean to me or ignores me, I shoot back a reply or sulk. Don't they know who I am? If a friend doesn't follow through or doesn't make the effort to spend time with me, I pull back or put up walls. Don't they know who I am?

God's Kingdom - Everything in my life worships Him and revolves around Him. If He asks, I will go. If He interrupts, I will listen. He is I AM. If He allows pain from others, I will look to Him. He is I AM. If He takes me to a place of loneliness and dependency, I will run to Him. He is I AM.

In God's Kingdom, everything in my life is to deflect off of Erin and onto I AM. Erin is just flesh and bones and blood. Erin is nothing. I AM is Creator God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Erin is foolish and selfish. I AM is the Author of wisdom and of love. Erin can't see past what is in front of her. I AM has already written the book of my life before one sentence came to be. Erin depends on others to bring validity and acceptance. I AM gives Erin validity and acceptance.

Now why would I ever want anyone to worship a being so limited, so self-serving, so near sighted as Erin? Why would I insist on building my own kingdom and achieving my own goals, while living where I want and spending 'my' money the way I want? Why do I believe I have certain rights and when those don't get fulfilled, I get in a tizzy? Why do I seek to have power to choose whom I love and whom I dismiss from my kingdom?  "If you love only those who love you, what good is that?" - Jesus.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Jesus.

"I AM that I AM." Exodus 3:14 

Kingdom.  Not mine, His. 2011 is the year where God will drive this point into my being, my bone and marrow, again and again and again. It is not about me. It is all about Him.


"All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever." 1 Peter 1:24-25




 (see this link for more 'I am's http://www.bukisa.com/articles/270791_the-i-ams-of-god)