Erin Rigsby's Blog

Why I said no to a free trip to Africa

2011-08-07T13:13:00.003-05:00

God whispered to my heart yesterday.

I was struggling through what my answer should be regarding whether or not to go to Ghana for two weeks in October. Very generous friends invited me to join them for a 2 week trip to Ghana and offered to pay for it!! Wow. The opportunity to return to Africa, the land I LOVE, for Free!!

I felt the Lord was giving me freedom to make the choice, but I desired to please Him and to be at peace.
Before I left Chicago, a dear woman blessed me with a book: Handbook to Prayer by Kenneth Boa. It provides many Scriptures to pray through every day. Yesterday this was a section given:

"Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to judge this great people of Yours?" God said to Solomon, "Because this was in your heart and you have not asked for riches, wealth or honor, nor for the life of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to judge My people over whom I have made you king, wisdom and knowledge will be given to you." 2 Chronicles 1:10-11

These words encouraged me because I felt that God had been sooo silent in this month of prayer regarding Ghana. But after reading this, I knew that God was telling me that He delights in giving us wisdom and knowledge when we ask in pure motives. Aha! Motives. Here is what followed(no kidding):

Holy Spirit: "Erin, what is so appealing to you about this trip to Ghana?"

Erin: "Well, it is a free trip. It is to Africa. It is with friends I love."

Holy Spirit: "Those are good reasons. But are those pure reasons? By going on this trip, will your gifts and abilities I have given you be really used?"

Erin: "I don't really know what they are going to be doing on the trip. They invited me last minute, so they really don't need me. But it is FREE.

Holy Spirit: "Do you think I am limited by money?! Do you not think I will provide for you when the time is right to return to Africa?? Will this trip to Ghana be the wisest use of the gifts I have given you: abilities, passions, money, time??

Erin: (silence)

Holy Spirit: "The reasons you gave to go to Ghana are all about you. Serving Me should never be about you."

Erin: "Wow. Ok, true. Thank You for showing me! Ok, not going to Ghana" ((peace))

Hmmm, got my attention big time. I immediately then shifted to the opportunity I have to go to California to attend a Global Forum on Human Trafficking in October (someone offered to pay for my plane ticket). I felt so excited about this because I am secure in fact that the Lord is asking for laborers in this harvest field and that I have been praying to be put to work! I knew the Holy Spirit was confirming that THIS is what He is providing for at this time. I will also get to visit a sweet friend, Bonny, who just moved to California! Ha ha! I LOVE how God is SOOO personal, SO loving!!

So Amen and Halleluyerrr. I have SUCH peace now and am just so thankful that He desires ME.

"May I not be worried and troubled about many things; only one thing is needed. Like Mary, may I choose the good part; which will not be taken away from me." Luke 10:41-42

The good part, as Mary displayed, is being at the feet of Jesus and reveling in His presence. All else will fade away, but He will never leave.

Love, Erin

PS - Sooo many times I have wanted to post something here, but then think "so much is going on, it is hard to catch up and where do I start?". But writing/typing is so therapeutic for me that I just need to do it! And hope you can follow!

PPS -Oh yeah, God spoke to me in a dream last night!! I am praying through it and will get back to you about that. ;)

Saying Good-Bye to Chicago and Hello to Texas - in pictures

2011-06-07T10:39:00.001-05:00

I arrived in Texas last week! I am staying at my parents house while I get my TX nursing license reactivated, look for a job, and look for a place to live in Austin. Below are picture albums from my last couple weeks in Chicago and my first week home in Texas. Title of the album is followed by a link. On each picture, you can see the caption by scrolling the mouse over the pictures. If we aren't already 'friends' on Facebook, feel free to connect! Enjoy!

This is Me Not Packing

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150616981030603.680382.573515602&l=a7119469bd

Road Trip

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150628403800603.683993.573515602&l=bc376fad75

Welcome Home

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150631651535603.685124.573515602&l=de2fd3638f

New Life In TX

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150635829085603.686727.573515602&l=96899b8fba

video

2011-04-22T11:47:00.002-05:00

If you receive my blog updates via email, you'll need to click on "Erin's Entry" to view the powerful video that goes along with the lyrics on previous post.

2011-04-21T22:57:00.006-05:00

Go on up to the mountain of mercy

To the crimson perpetual tide

Kneel down on the shore

Be thirsty no more

Go under and be purified

Follow Christ to the holy mountain

Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall

Cleanse your heart and your soul

In the fountain that flowed

For you and for me and for all

CHORUS:

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree

On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me

Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white

On that beautiful, scandalous night

On the hillside, you will be delivered

At the foot of the cross justified

And your spirit restored

By the river that pours

From our blessed Savior's side

CHORUS

Go on up to the mountain of mercy

To the crimson perpetual tide

Kneel down on the shore

Be thirsty no more

Go under and be purified

Texas!

2011-04-07T21:07:00.002-05:00

Hey y'all! I am moving to Texas!!! I will be leaving Chicago at the end of May/beginning of June. There is so much in this story to share with you and I hope I will make the effort to blog all about it soon.

Kingdom

2011-02-04T16:59:00.001-06:00

Back in December I was having dinner with a friend and we were talking about the new year that was around the corner. She mentioned that for a few years she has picked a word to focus on for the whole year. The word guided her thoughts and her prayers, her readings and her conversations. One year she chose a word that she needed to work on, like 'patience'. The next year she chose an attribute of God's character, such as 'Provider'. I thought it was a great concept, but, like I do too many times, I forgot about it. (maybe my word should be 'Remember'.)

Then last week I was listening to the radio and a pastor was talking about the very same approach. He started doing this 5 years ago. He then encouraged his congregation to all have a word to focus on and learn to live by. He can immediately associate a word to a year. Like, 2005 = freedom because he can testify to all the lessons and ways he learned about living in freedom. After listening to him share, I could really understand the benefits to having a word.

I immediately knew what my word for 2011 is - Kingdom.

I had already been contemplating this word for about a month. One day in December, God brought a hurting young lady to my office at church. Whenever I counsel/sit with someone in a lot of pain and in need of a lot of wisdom, I constantly pray as she talks so that I will know how each of my responses should be. Many times I am being taught while sharing with someone. I love how God does that.

I told her we have a choice. We can either choose to build our own kingdom or we can choose to build God's kingdom.

Erin's Kingdom - I want everything to worship me and to revolve around me. If something inconveniences me or gets in my way, I get irritated or honk my horn. How dare they? Don't they know who I am? If someone says something mean to me or ignores me, I shoot back a reply or sulk. Don't they know who I am? If a friend doesn't follow through or doesn't make the effort to spend time with me, I pull back or put up walls. Don't they know who I am?

God's Kingdom - Everything in my life worships Him and revolves around Him. If He asks, I will go. If He interrupts, I will listen. He is I AM. If He allows pain from others, I will look to Him. He is I AM. If He takes me to a place of loneliness and dependency, I will run to Him. He is I AM.

In God's Kingdom, everything in my life is to deflect off of Erin and onto I AM. Erin is just flesh and bones and blood. Erin is nothing. I AM is Creator God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Erin is foolish and selfish. I AM is the Author of wisdom and of love. Erin can't see past what is in front of her. I AM has already written the book of my life before one sentence came to be. Erin depends on others to bring validity and acceptance. I AM gives Erin validity and acceptance.

Now why would I ever want anyone to worship a being so limited, so self-serving, so near sighted as Erin? Why would I insist on building my own kingdom and achieving my own goals, while living where I want and spending 'my' money the way I want? Why do I believe I have certain rights and when those don't get fulfilled, I get in a tizzy? Why do I seek to have power to choose whom I love and whom I dismiss from my kingdom? "If you love only those who love you, what good is that?" - Jesus.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Jesus.

"I AM that I AM." Exodus 3:14

Kingdom. Not mine, His. 2011 is the year where God will drive this point into my being, my bone and marrow, again and again and again. It is not about me. It is all about Him.

"All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever." 1 Peter 1:24-25

(see this link for more 'I am's http://www.bukisa.com/articles/270791_the-i-ams-of-god)

Did you know?

2010-08-06T15:31:00.002-05:00

I've started another blog. It will be used for the purpose of raising awareness for children in need. I needed to have two separate blogs - one to share fun, random day to day stuff (this blog here) and another one to share about the very tragic things being done to children, the very incredible things God is doing around the world in the lives of children and what He expects from us, His followers and representatives.

My first two posts on this new blog lay the foundation for what's to come.

So check it out http://speakupforthechildren.blogspot.com/

And come back here from time to time for random posts about my life and those in it.

All the previous posts from Nigeria and beyond will remain on this blog.

Catching up a bit...

2010-07-06T10:34:00.010-05:00

My mom's birthday was on June 22nd. Back in April, my dad called and suggested that I fly to Texas and surprise my mom for her birthday. I was super excited about it, but wondering how on earth my dad would be able to keep the secret for so long. Every week or so I would remind him with things like "Don't change the sheets on the guest bed", "Don't buy my favorite coffee creamer", "Don't drop any hints." He did great!!

I flew into Austin late Thursday night, June 17th. My brother, Shane, picked me up and we drove to my parents house. Their house has an exterior room. I sneaked in there around midnight. Around 5:30am my dad came in, all giddy with excitement to see me (so cute). My mom had just left for her walk, so I stayed put, waiting for her to do her routine. Mama is so predictable, I just love it. She finished her walk, made her coffee, and settled into her recliner with her crossword puzzle and paper. My dad came out to get me and we walked into the house (out of sight from my mom). I stayed behind and my dad went into the living room.

"Candy, put your coffee down. I have an early birthday present for you." (while saying this, he had his hand in a fist like he had something in it).

"Keith?"

"Ok, now close your eyes".

"Keith, what is in your hand?" - I think all women get uneasy when a guy asks them to close their eyes when holding something in his hand - flashback to middle school....

"Just close your eyes."

Then I stepped into the living room.

"Ok, now open your eyes."

"Good Morning, Mama!"

Her reaction was priceless! First she just stared, then she squeezed her eyes shut, then she jumped out of the chair (good call on putting the coffee down, Dad) to give me a huge hug.

" Wait, how did you get here?!" (she was not computing that I am still in my pajamas.)

Then she turned to Dad, and in all seriousness scolded him. "KEITH! The sheets aren't clean and that room is dirty!"

Oh, that was so awesome and so my mom! She just loves to be sure her family/guests feel welcomed.

I just grabbed her for another hug and we laughed and laughed.

(and while I was in the shower, she changed the sheets).

That same weekend I was home was also Father's Day. One of my favorite things to do with my Dad when I was a kid was to go fishing together. I've always had such good memories of his patience and kindness - he never got frustrated when I caught a tree limb or lost a lure. During my trip home, I wanted to be sure to go fishing with him again. We got up really early and drove down to the lake. It was such a peaceful time and I sat in the boat, reliving all of those memories with my dad and so thankful that we could spend time together fishing again. "Fishing" didn't quite happen, as I only caught one that got away before I reeled it in all the way. But we had a great time.

Before I left, we went fishing again, along the creek of the small town of Salado my parents live in. We had a lot more luck catching fish there. It was so Texan, really, fishing at the creek with my dad. I savored every minute.

I must share many photos of my precious nephew, Parker. I mean, seriously. He is even cuter in person.

Ali, Shane, Parker, Auntie Erin

We had taken him to a water park and he loved it! But he got so wiped out.

I love this picture I took of him on the way home.

He loves his Poppie!

I also got a wonderful surprise - Parker is going to be a big brother! Ali and Shane took him from me to change him. When they came back, he was wearing this onesie that Shane designed.

So fun!

He's gotta be a Cubs fan!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I met Susan in Nigeria. She is also a nurse and she worked with an AIDS outreach ministry and clinic. Susan lived across the street from me. My first memory of Susan is when we went to a worship service together and she was dancing right along with every one else. I knew then that we would be good friends. Life in Nigeria with the stressors of ministry, different schedules, and exhaustion that comes with living overseas didn't allow us to bond as much as we both had hoped. However, as God would have it, Susan returned from Nigeria to her home town of Wheaton, IL - a suburb of Chicago. As I went through my journey of grief about not returning to Nigeria, Susan was one person who completely understood my sorrow, as she too said good-bye to a land and people we both love so dearly. The past couple years cemented our relationship into a special one of kindred spirits - two women who really 'get' each other and who can burst out in Hausa from time to time, much to the amusement of those around us.

Last year, I dropped Susan off for a blind date with a guy she met through Facebook. I prayed with her and told her I would text in a couple hours, to give her a chance to leave him if she wanted to. When I texted, she responded that they were one their way to dinner. When I texted even later that night, she replied that they were having coffee again. :-) Needless to say, they fell quickly in love.

I love surprises, so after it was pretty clear that they were to be engaged, I contacted Matt and told him I would love to help in the proposal if necessary. We planned it that he would drive in from Ohio to meet Susan at the Starbucks where they had their blind date. I asked Susan to go out with me that night and to meet me at that Starbucks after work. All was a go, until that afternoon when Susan emailed me to say she was really tired from work and just wanted to take a rain check. Oh no! I then sent her a long email, guilting her into meeting me - that I really needed her. So, being the awesome friend that she is, she agreed to meet me. But when she walked into Starbucks, there was Matt! He proposed soon after.

All that earned me the right to be a bridesmaid. It was a beautiful wedding and celebration of a couple who love Jesus and love each other so much!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corinne is my Swiss friend, who was also my neighbor in Nigeria. I love how dedicated Corinne is to children in need. While in Nigeria, she started a play therapy for our kids and was used greatly to help children process their trauma. Corinne is a young woman who trusts God completely, loves His people passionately, and is a loyal friend to all who know her.

She came to visit me in Chicago recently. I had a blast showing her around this city I love so much. Corinne had never seen a baseball game before (!!) so of course we had to go watch a Cubs game. (of course they lost, but whatever). In this picture is also my new roommate Beth and her mom.

My generous friend Mark let us join him and his friends on his sailboat. It was Memorial Day weekend, which is not quite considered summer weather yet in Chicago. However, it was a gorgeous day and we were able to enjoy the fireworks over the lake that night, too.

Ok, there's a little catch up on my life for you. Until next time.....

If this doesn't increase your faith in the Lord, I don't know what will...

2010-05-06T21:31:00.013-05:00

Written by Kelly Malloy, missionary in Nigeria:

The story that I am about to tell you is absolutely the most AMAZING and unbelieveable narrative that I have ever written to you. I can imagine that many of you might have a hard time swallowing the details of the story of Emmanuel. Even our Nigerian co-workers have been taken aback by the history of this precious child. One of the pastors on the staff of City Ministries Nigeria is a manager of a Care Center with 10 boys. Pastor Bulus was on an outreach in a remote village. Ambling through a field on the outskirts of the village, he stumbled upon what he believed to be a log. How shocked he was to find that the tiny article at his feet was the wrecked body of a small boy. Lifting the boy into his arms, he raced into the town in search of help.

The villagers disdain was instantaneous as they recounted the story of the emaciated child. Calling the village leaders together, the story was unanumous; the boy had been born to a mad man and a weak woman. He did not thrive after birth, possibly a result of being "tongue tied" and malnourished. At the age of two, he was unable to speak or walk, which was unacceptable to his parents. Blinded by ignorance and fear, they concluded that their son was either a ghost or possessed by a demon. Their only solution was to leave him in the bush to die alone.

And there the boy remained for THIRTEEN YEARS. Alone. The mothers in the village came to the consensus that he was born the same year as their fifteen-year old sons. This area of the country is devoid of streamsand trees. Somehow he survived in the open fileds, subjected to six months of blistering sun, followed by six months of torrential rain. Agreeing that he must be a wicked spirit, the local people never took the child into their village. Never was he fed or clothed. He was never bathed, held, taught to speak, potty-trained, or loved. He experienced neither human contact nor kindness - ever.

Until, that is, the moment that the Lord placed him in the path of Pastor Bulus, a gentle and humble man. Almost immediately, Bulus bathed and clothed the child and placed food before him. The village women scoffed, "He doesn't know how to eat proper food from a plate Throw it in the dirt and let him eat like a dog!" Bulus refused, realizing then that the boy had possibly been filling his stomach with sand and dead leaves his entire life. Bulus pleaded with the village chief, "I will give you half of my salary if you will promise to care for this child in your own home." (His monthly salary is less than one meal at a nice American restaurant.) The chief refused the offer, giving Bulus full permission to take the boy back to the orphan home. Pastor Bulus aptly named him "Emmanuel" which means "God with us".

SIM missionary, Missy Camiola, holding Emmanuel

After spending several days in our Jos hospital, he began to exhibit signs of attachment to several people, and even crawled into my lap and fell asleep. His behaviors most closely resemble the jerky expressions of birds, and he appears to be very at peace in the presence of pastor Bulus, who is an excellent caretaker. Emmanuel weighs 22 pounds.

After three weeks in the City Ministries Nigeria Care Center, he has already learned to walk on shaky legs. He has discovered pounded yam and beans, which he eats from a bowl (that must be placed on the floor. He will not eat if anyone is looking at him. ) Emmanuel does not speak. He has very few human mannerisms, gestures, or noises.

As you can imagine, Emmanuel has a long road ahead of him, learning to live in civilization. Our most sincere prayer for him is that he will come to know the One who has daily protected him from starvation, dehydration, every kind of illness, snakes, countless other atrocities. As Bulus says, "He is a miracle. Only the Lord has been his Shepherd!" Please join us in prayer for Emmanuel and his full restoration. Pray for Pastor Bulus, his wife and the 10 other orphans as they care for and love Emmanuel.

Kelly is the nurse for the kids now (my old job). She's holding Emmanuel. Pastor Bulus found him. You can imagine how badly I wish I was holding him in this picture! Praise the Lord for these two incredible servants of God whom He has used to do miracles!

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,

for the rights of all who are destitute."

Proverbs 31:7-9

I walked out.

2010-03-22T22:09:00.010-05:00

Yesterday I had a lustful thought.

Today I called a driver a certain something when he almost ran me off the road. (Not a great word to be saying as I would go to Jesus' arms, so I am glad that wasn't the last word of my life.)

Tonight I was angry, bitter, and jealous all at the same time. And that was right after I prayed to be free from the anger, bitterness and jealousy.

This is what goes on in my mind:

I'm pretty. I'm ugly. I'm popular. No one likes me. I'm successful. I'm a failure. I'm godly. I'm hopeless. I'm encouraging. People hate a suck-up. People look up to me. People are tired of me. I'm creative. I'm manipulative. I'm wise. Stupid! I'm full of faith. I'm full of something else. I'm a leader. I grovel for attention. I'm accepted. Rejected! I have so many great friends. I'm alone. I'm a hard worker. Can I be any more lazy? I'm an excellent nurse. Who would want to hire me? The kids in Nigeria miss me like crazy. Auntie Erin, who? I have a way with words. Shut my mouth and give them a break. They're blessed to know me. They are tired of me. I'm a great communicator. I have an ugly voice. I'm a great friend. Then why aren't I a better friend? I am strong. What a wimp. I hear God's voice. What a joke! I make a difference. I'm wasting my breath. I'm getting healthier. I'm afraid of sickness. I have a servant's heart. They don't want my help. I'm so forgiving. What a pushover! I have healthy boundaries. Don't be so rigid.

I am forgiven. Condemnation screams. I am accepted. Rejection mimics. I am free. Cell door locks.

And then....

In the prison I walked right into...

With the guilty sentence I accepted...

Slumped on the floor of the cell in defeat...

He speaks.

Yes, you lusted. But you quickly recognized it, asked for forgiveness, and redirected your thoughts.

Yes, you cussed. So, train your mouth to not cuss again by having My word on your tongue and in your heart.

Yes, you were angry, bitter and jealous. Yes, you harbored those thoughts for even a minute too long. But, you saw it for what it was. A cheap shot by a weak enemy. And you battled against those thoughts with Truth. And you were victorious.

I don't see sin when I look at you. I see purity. I see righteousness. I see love.

I see my Son.

He died for you so that you can stay out of prison. So that you won't accept the guilty sentence that the enemy of your soul taunts you with. When you accepted Him as your Savior from your sins, that is exactly what He became. Your Savior. He saved you. He took the guilt, the prison sentence, the slow death of sin.

My Son, Jesus, He died. But, He came back to life! He is now with Me and talks to Me about you and intercedes on your behalf. My Spirit is in you to share My heart with you. Listen to My voice. Listen to the Truth of who you are and Who you belong to.

Child, I rejoice over you. I am giddy at the thought of you. I desire your attention. You are My creation, the art of My hands, the beauty of My thoughts, the adoration of My affections.

Stand up. Look forward. Shoulders back. Head held high.

And walk right out of that prison.

Video of Amos' arrival home

2010-02-03T18:01:00.005-06:00

Here is the video of Jamie and Aaron Ivey picking up their son from the airport after he arrived from Haiti (see story in my previous blog posts). Grab a tissue! And just imagine how our Heavenly Father welcomes us home and into His arms when we believe in His Son Jesus Christ.... so precious and powerful.

The song in this video was written by and is being sung by Aaron about waiting and fighting to get Amos home. (see the music video on previous post.)

http://dreamingbigdreams.net/

Amos, orphan from Haiti, arrives in Texas

2010-01-24T12:50:00.007-06:00

My two previous posts introduced you to the Ivey family and their long journey in bringing Amos home from Haiti. Here's another chapter to the story.....

Adopted Haitian Boy Arrives in Austin

http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/news/local/Adopted-Haitian-Boy-Arrives-in-Austin

Here's a blog written by the happy father, Aaron:

http://aaronivey.com/

Link to Aaron's video to his son in Haiti

2010-01-22T12:12:00.003-06:00

For those of you who receive my posts via subscription, for some reason the video won't show up. So here is the link... it's very powerful - watch!! :-)

The girl in the video is Story - who has already been adopted and is living with the Ivey's in Austin, TX.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4eZybIXpm8&feature=youtu.be&a

Here is a short clip from when they visited Haiti in 2008 - so precious!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIiXQbXe8HQ&feature=related

Nigeria... Haiti... God is there

2010-01-22T10:12:00.003-06:00

Nigeria:
If you haven't heard, there has been rioting, killing, and destruction in Jos, Nigeria (where I lived for 4 years) since last Sunday. I won't go into the details of why this is going on here - but you can check http://bbc.com/ for more specific information (though keep in mind it is still a media's report).

Thankfully, the military and police responded quickly. The city of Jos was put on a 24 hour curfew for two days straight, to try and quell the violence.

Early Tuesday morning at 3am Chicago time, I received a text from Nigeria to pray for the village of Gyero, where 100+ of City Ministries orphans live. I spent a lot of time in Gyero and was heartbroken to hear that the violence had spread to this little village off the beaten path. I prayed and prayed and was so grateful to receive a text an hour later that said the military had arrived and regained control. Ok, so *that* is a miracle. That the military would even care to go out to little Gyero. But GOD cares and He sent them!

Praise GOD none of our children or staff were hurt, but other village kids and adults were killed during this attack.

Yesterday, the 24 hour curfew was lifted and people are allowed to move around between 10am - 5pm Nigeria time (which is 7 hours ahead of CST).

I've received reports from friends there that it seems calm, but to not assume it is safe. Please continue to pray!!

Haiti:

We are all stunned and the media is a great way to keep informed. However, to get more intimate with it all...

Aaron and Jamie Ivey live in Austin, TX. They've already adopted a boy from America and a girl
from Haiti. The Ivey's have been working for 2 1/2 years to adopt Amos, who is still in Haiti. He is safe and they are working desperately to complete the adoption and bring him home. Here is a video that Aaron made for Amos.

See their interview on CNN here:

http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2010/01/15/familys-adopted-son-in-haiti/

Also, the Livesay family are missionaries in Haiti. Here is a very encouraging post on their blog about God's sovereignty and concern for the least of these...

http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-eight.html

Praying for a special Miracle

2009-12-29T13:03:00.010-06:00

The above picture was taken in January 2008, when Miracle was 2 months old.

She had just been dedicated to the Lord at church. Nigerians put eye make-up on babies for special occasions. :-)

Please read the story below about Miracle.

Some of you have already heard it - it's fascinating!

And then updated pictures of this sweetheart are at the end.

Written in January 2008:.. My Nigerian 'parents', Reverand Haruna and 'Mommy', took care of Friday, their nephew, for seven years. Just recently Friday died from a sudden sickness at age 12, which devastated Rev. and Mommy. However, God was so good. The day before Friday passed, Mommy was at work at the community health clinic, where she stays for a few nights at a time, since it is outside of Jos. Someone brought in a newborn baby with her umbilical cord still attached. The baby had been abandoned and covered with sand. She was discovered because a dog was biting on her umbilical cord and she began to cry. The mother of the baby, of course, was nowhere to be found. The police interviewed different women in the neighborhood and decided that Mommy was the best candidate to look after the baby while they tried to find her mother. Mommy was caring for her when she received the news that Friday had died. So Mommy bundled her up and took her home with her.

In the midst of the intense grief, God provided a miracle baby to bring joy, comfort and purpose to their lives. I went to their home the day we received the sad news about Friday. When I saw the baby and heard her story I said to Mommy "You must name her Miracle, for indeed she is." She agreed and that is her name. :)

Today...

Two years have passed and Miracle continues to bring happiness and God's love into their home. They see how the Lord was so good to them and His timing was just incredible, giving Miracle to them the day before Friday passed. Rev and Mommy have been wanting to have another baby (have 2 older children), but it has not been possible. They have formally adopted Miracle.

I sent Miracle some Christmas presents. I just received the pictures below - so adorable!!! She's modeling the gifts I sent to her. The picture with the rabbit on her back is so great because she is 'backing her baby' - Nigerian women carry babies on their backs.

Miracle is a child who was chosen by the Lord to be rescued from certain death and adopted into an earthly family who are the perfect God-send to raise her in His Word and His love. My prayer is that is special Miracle will be a mighty Warrior Princess for her King!

Allah ya bamu godiya kowace rana. Ku kwallo masu! = God gives us blessings every day! Watch for them!

Please be gentle

2009-12-21T11:35:00.003-06:00

For many, the Christmas season is a jumble of emotions. We think of where we were this time last year, what our hopes were, dreams were, expectations were... Some of you have lost people very close to you and you can't wait until Christmas is over, so that you won't be forced to remember past Christmas celebrations with the loved ones who are no longer with you.

Christmas brings hope - a reminder that Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect life - yet still was ridiculed, slandered, abused, rejected and betrayed - but He endured and was victorious.

Last night I was reading a blog of a family who lost their 10 week old son to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and I was grieving along with them. Their pain is much deeper than I can fathom, yet I can identify with the loss of their hopes, dreams and plans.

These days, my mind and prayers are all over the place... seeking God for clarity, hope, perseverance in the midst of unclear situations and many questions... I am thankful to be walking through this time and not escaping from it or allowing myself to be distracted from the reality of the depth of my need for the One who will be constant in the midst of lifes storms. Throughout Scripture, God allows His people to walk through the pain, to suffer, to endure, to be sanctified through loss -- to completely depend on Him, for we cannot trust ourselves. Sometimes it was a quick deliverance, but most of the time, Scripture shows a long process of peeling back the layers of pride, self-reliance, selfish motivations, etc... to bring the people/person to the place God intended them to be.

For those of us who have surrendered our lives to Jesus, the Holy Spirit is with us and He will speak to us, guide us, and comfort us (John 16). He declares Truth to us - which is so comforting since we live in a world of lies and false promises.

My journey is not a unique one - many of you have experienced deep loss in your lives. My loss of health, home, dreams, etc just happened all at once... but it doesn't make my loss any worse than yours. Some people don't understand, and if they haven't experienced loss, or if they have but just didn't allow themselves to feel the loss... how can they relate? Some people think that I should get over it, move on, forget Nigeria... well, ok, but no I won't. I am resistant to allow myself to be on anyone's time table except for God's. I am not saying that I know what I am doing - not by a long shot - but I have learned that for most of my life, I just smoothed things over with a smile. Not anymore... I want God to dig deep and take as long as it takes to heal from the inside out. It's not just about Nigeria - it's about living a live of genuine emotions, of being 'real' and vulnerable, about really letting God search my heart and point out any area that is not completely surrendered to Him. Saying good-bye to Nigeria was just the beginning on this road of healing, of sanctification, of hope...

I don't live in despondency or hopelessness. God has actually given me great joy and peace in the midst of this season of uncertainty and transition. I love living in Chicago and am so thankful for the friends I have and the opportunities I have to serve the church body. I am not in depression and I am not lazy. One day at a time, by only God's grace and power, am I sustained to look ahead and to love God and love people for that day. He will give strength for the next day. I am learning to love the present. To not think too far into the future. I am learning to be ok with times of rest and loneliness. I am learning to be ok with not living a fast-paced life and taking time to rest when I need to. I am learning to be ok with not knowing everything - or anything at all! I am learning to using this time in my life to relate to the loss others are going through - marriage, financial, relationships, etc... It has really been wonderful to see how God is weaving all of our lives together for our good and for His glory! Every time God teaches me a big lesson, He then brings someone into my life to share with and to encourage them with... it's a beautiful cycle.

Here is a poem that I found that expresses exactly how I feel and, perhaps, how many of you are feeling, too...

Please Be Gentle
By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'Why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don't turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through the tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in the journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It's how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?

All around us, people are hurting. Especially during this season. But there is Hope through Jesus Christ. It is all about Him - every pain, loss, joy, challenge... it is all about Him - for He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords... as we take our eyes off of ourselves and focus on Him... the peace that surpasses all understanding will reign in our hearts. Thank You, Jesus! Amen!

It's not just about the sale

2009-10-08T17:47:00.007-05:00

This is just tooo cool - I have to share! And it's not about what happens to me - it is about what happens afterwards and how it all fits together :-)

Ok, so it all started a couple months ago. A man at church knew that I was looking for a car to buy. He recommended a large dealership here in Chicago, and specifically two dealers that he had a good experience with previously. One of the men, Bob, is a Christian and the other one, Joe, is not (not their real names). My friend called ahead and 'introduced' me to these two men. I did not tell him what to say - but he explained the whole 'missionary' thing and I figured, well, might was well milk it for what it's worth at this point! :-)

So I arrived and quoted my very low budget and they just looked at me. Then said they would be right back. They came back and offered me a great deal on a great looking car (the make/model will remain anonymous --- keep reading to find out why). So, I bought the car and loved it. Before I left, the non-Christian dealer, Joe, looked at me and said "Erin, there is something different about you. I mean, I can't put my finger on it, but there's something special". I answered "The Lord has changed my life. He is Who you are seeing. I take no credit!". He just smiled and shook his head.

Within two weeks, all sorts of things were going wrong with the car, including the catalytic converter (have no idea), water pump (for what?) and the transmission (I know this is important!)... The guys were so apologetic and so kind and allowed me to return the car, which is super nice because usually a used car is sold 'as is' and sorry ma'am if you have any problems. I spent a lot of time with Joe discussing the problems as they came up, and he kept saying "Erin, man, there is something about you."

Well, I still needed a car. So I spent hours (yeah, I take awhile to make big decisions sometimes) in the dealership deliberating on what car, how much to spend, etc. They ended up giving me such a fantastic deal on a Honda Civic with very low mileage - they only made $28 on the deal!
I knew that they had actually lost money, because of all the time spent the past two weeks on the situation and because the first car was a total loss.

I was about to leave and I was contemplating about how gracious they had been and how I really felt that God not only guided me there to purchase a car, but that He is pursuing Joe's heart and that He wants Joe to know how important he is to God. So, Joe and I were about to close the deal and I was about to leave. We were walking past a brand new, white Hummer in the showroom.

God told me what to do.
I said "What?!"
He said "Do it".
Sigh.

"Hey Joe," I said. Joe turned around.

I put my hand on the Hummer and said with a lot more confidence than I felt, "I really appreciate all that you've done for me. I am going to pray that God will let you be the one to sell this Hummer."

Joe just chuckled and said "You do that."

So I get in my newly purchased "pre-owned" car and started talking to God. "Ahhh! How could you make me say that?! Joe sell the Hummer? It is a huge dealership - lots of employees. That is such an expensive car. How SOO specific is that?! Ok, Lord, it's Your reputation and glory on the line, not mine! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is an eternal purpose in my buying this car. I know that You are chasing Joe. I know that You want him to know he is important and valuable in Your sight. So, well, God... pllleeeeaaase let him sell that Hummer!"

And that's how my prayers went over the last few weeks.

Folks, I talked to Joe today.

HE SOLD THE HUMMER!!!!!
Wa-hoooo! Go God! Get the Glory!!!

ahhhhh.

It's so funny because I called Joe today with a question about my car and I wanted to say something about the Hummer and was thinking, "Man, I am going to sound foolish". Well.

"So, Joe, don't forget that I am praying that God will let you be the one to sell that Hummer." Cringe.

"Erin! I sold it on Saturday!"

Ahhh, may I become more of a fool, for the glory of God in His pursuit of peoples' souls.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25

Video

2009-10-01T10:23:00.003-05:00

To all my dear subscribers...

I don't know why, when I post a video, it won't show up in your email of the blog.

Here is the link. It is such a powerful song and music video. I played it about 20 times yesterday. Refer to the lyrics on the previous post.

http://vimeo.com/channels/failusnot

You Fail Us Not

2009-09-29T15:02:00.004-05:00

In the midst of questions without answers, You are there. Your presence presses in and captures my soul. You pursue my devotion to the innermost parts of my being. My brokenness turns to praise and my searching turns to contentment.

The lyrics and the video below are perfect for where I am right now in my journey. I saw this band, 1000 Generations, a couple months ago and was taken to an intense time of worship through their God-honoring songs.

Failure doesn't phase you. Worry doesn't win. Lost doesn't leave you afraid to start again. Our sin doesn't shock you. Our shame doesn't shame you at all.

Mistakes do not move you. Terror doesn't tame. Death doesn't doom you to life in the grave. Our suffering doesn't scare you. Our secrets won't surprise you at all. At all.

There is nothing above you. There is nothing beyond you. There is nothing that you can't do. Whatever will come, we'll rise above. You fail us not, You fail us not. No matter the war, our hope is secure. You fail us not, You fail us not.You fail us not.

Hatred doesn't hide you. Evil doesn't ail. Despair can't disguise you and tell you that you fail. Our doubt doesn't daunt you. Our darkness won't defeat you at all. At all.

You’re bigger than the battle. You are bigger than the battle. You are bigger than the battle has ever been.

http://1000generations.com/

PS - I this band is even sweeter because the pianist and vocalist are married :-) And, I don't know why the video shows up twice.

Clip of boys singing praise

2009-09-11T12:35:00.002-05:00

This is my first time to post a video, and I must be doing it wrong. Am trying again here. This is the clip I referred to in my previous post. Our boys are singing "Holy, Holy is the Lord Almighty. Holy, Holy is He!.... Holy is the Lord, God Almighty, the earth is filled with His glory."

If the video does not show up for those of you who subscribe to this and get the post automatically, it will work if you go directly to http://erinrigsby.blogspot.com
It's a grrrreat clip - so I want to be sure you can watch it!

Renewed Fear of the Lord God Almighty

2009-09-10T16:01:00.009-05:00

Last night a friend and I were talking about how we want to live with expectancy and to live intentionally. We were reflecting on how fast time goes by and, before we know it, a week is gone and what eternal significance do we have to show for it? Did we love on people God brought across our paths? Did we show patience to people who were maybe having a bad day? Did we stop and help someone else, even when it was inconvenient? And what makes something inconvenient? Pretty much the fact that, in our selfish minds, wherever we are going or whatever we are doing is more important than others needs.

We talked about how our culture really affects us. I am fascinated by cultures and find myself analyzing what I am seeing or experiencing through the eyes of an American, or a Nigerian, or perhaps a wealthy person versus a poorer person; a single person versus a married couple. Chicago has so many cultures within cultures, that I am never without a loss for material.

It can be downright confusing sometimes, for me, as many times I find myself unsure of how to respond - do I respond like I did in Nigeria or do I respond like other Americans? Is a situation I may be in because of a healthy cultural influence or is it negative? Is it sinful or is it Biblical? I am not thinking of one thing in particular, but every day things - the more we are looking for culture, the more it is revealed to us. The more we question our motives, our spending, how we relate to others, how others relate to us... the more aware we are of how complex we are.

After getting off the phone with my friend, I was really missing Nigeria and all the kids there, thanks to all my analysis of culture. I spent a lot of time looking through pictures, thinking and just feeling homesick for a place that seems so far away now. Then I went to bed. Which I KNOW is not good for me - to dwell and reflect on Nigeria right before bed - because almost 100% of the time, this results in really sad dreams about my life in Nigeria and then I wake up in a cloud of sadness. I am praying for self-discipline in this area, to fill my mind with joyful, peaceful and encouraging things before I go to bed.

So I woke up this morning, in desperate need of some encouragement from the Lord. I went to Jeremiah 10. As I read the chapter, my heart was sobered. Read Jeremiah 10 here. God was talking to Israel (and talking to us) about the necessity of being separate from the evils in culture. The people of Israel had been making their own idols, out of wood, silver and gold and then worshiping these powerless things. God calls the customs worthless and He calls the people senseless and foolish. The people will be shamed, will be mocked, will perish in judgement. Ouch.

The LORD Almighty goes on to say, through Jeremiah, that He is the King of Nations, the True God, the Living God, the Eternal King. The Israelites were choosing to worship things that were dead, things that had been formed by human hands, things without any power.

We are senseless to not inquire of the LORD. As a result, we will be scattered and will not prosper. God will remove His hands from us, if we continue to worship false Gods. He is a jealous God and He WILL NOT share His glory.

Not applicable enough? Ok, verses 23 and 24:

I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, LORD, but only with justice - not in Your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing.

A renewed fear of God was put into my soul this morning. I so easily build up idols in my life. I allow things, people, memories to control me, to demand my worship. I give power to situations and circumstances and to Satan, when they are worthless, and that makes me a fool. I was corrected in my thinking, as God reminded me that I am right where He put me. He directs my steps. My life is not my own. My life is a tiny blip on the radar of eternity. He is pursuing my complete, total, abandoned affection. He wants ALL of me.

Like with the children of Israel, God allows us to choose how we will respond to adversity, to suffering, to persecution, to sickness, to poverty, to injustice. Like with the children of Israel, He will respond to us in relation to how we respond to Him.

Will I respond with complete commitment and worship of Him? Or will I spend my days on my own worldly pursuits, giving pieces of my worship to people, in response to the cultural temptations and influence, to the newest fad or sensation?

"Everyone is senseless and without knowledge; every goldsmith is shamed by his idols. His images are a fraud; they have no breath in them. They are worthless, the objects of mockery; when their judgment comes, they will perish. He who is the Portion of Jacob is not like these, for he is the Maker of all things, including Israel, the tribe of his inheritance— the LORD Almighty is his name." Jeremiah 10:14-16

This 1 minute clip was recently taken of our older boys in Nigeria, during a spontaneous time of worship.

They are singing... "Holy, Holy is the Lord Almighty. Holy, Holy is He. Holy is the Lord, God Almighty, the earth is filled with His glory".

In case you are interested...

2009-08-17T14:23:00.011-05:00

Yesterday at church, a woman lovingly reminded me that she is waiting to read the next post on my blog, that it has been too long - she even knew that I hadn't written one since July 9th!! ... that warmed my heart, and encouraged me to write a nice, long, juicy one... :-) There are pictures at the end!

Yes, so much has been happening and I am internally processing so many things. I sometimes wonder what is beneficial to share with the cyberspace world. And then, I suppose, if I keep things focused on HIM, and not on me, then perhaps others can benefit. Sharing my life experiences, challenges, trials, blessings, etc on a computer screen is therapeutic for me and, if someone else is blessed, yeah for that!

At least once a week I think "oh, I need to share this on my blog" and then I hesitate or forget. And so, wow, a month or more goes by and here we are... Some random tidbits...

** I found an apartment in Chicago! It is on the 18th floor and looks out over the lake. It is really a gift and praise pours out of my mouth every day when I sit out on the balcony, when I get home after a long day, when I wake up and see the lake from my bed - thank you Jesus! Lesson I have learned from this - I resisted this apartment SO much because I didn't feel like God really wanted me to have it. I know I am very adaptable and have slept in various kinds of places and know that I don't need to have nice things. I literally argued with God for two days about this place - I kept trying to find all sorts of loop holes as to why I shouldn't get it - and He kept taking care of each one. The root of it all - I really didn't believe that He wanted to give this amazing gift to me. He was excitedly providing and what was my response? "No, really? Seriously, I don't need this. I've lived in a Third World Country, God, I can be happy with much less., yadda, yadda, yadda.." And on and on and on I went. And then, tada, the lights went on - I LOVE to give people gifts, mostly because of their reactions to the gifts. My reaction was so ridiculously self-deprecating and resistant to His love.... thanks for insisting, God! I love it and, while I hold it loosely and know that materialistic things don't bring lasting joy, I am enjoying every minute of this gift of beauty and safety!

** When I left Nigeria in May 2008, I thought I would only be gone for two months. As a result, I of course left my house as it was. When I realized a few months ago that I would not be returning, one of the most difficult parts of that decision was what to do with my house in Nigeria? God provided some incredible ladies there who worked many hours to sort through, pack up and sell my things. Most of my belongings were sold last week, except for sentimental things that are slowly coming back to me through travelers. This has been a very painful process for me because I am a very sentimental person. Something that looks worthless to you will be precious to me because of the memory attached to it. It has been hard to let go and allow others to go through all of my belongings and for them to make decisions about what may or may not be important.

God used Hebrews 10 to really help me, especially verse 34: you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.

I can't say it has been a joyful process, emotionally, but I can say that I have tried to choose to be joyful and thankful, even if I don't feel like it. This situation has really humbled me to think about what value I put on things that will burn and how much do I really value Jesus, Who has saved me from eternal death??

So, I basically don't have much now, compared to many, but I have an abundance compared to many. Make sense? Practically speaking - I used paper towels to dry off after a shower for a week because I didn't have any towels. I slept on a couch for two weeks because I didn't have a bed. I ate off of paper plates until yesterday, because I didn't have any dishes. But was this an issue? No! It really doesn't matter, does it? In the midst of the questions, pain, loneliness, uncertainty, vulnerability of this season, the Lord God has taken me to a different level with Him. A clearer understanding of what matters. A deeper sense of dependence upon Him.

Plus, it has been so amazing to be loved by God through His people - last night someone gave me some plates (remember, just yesterday I used my last paper plate!), towels, some kitchen stuff; another lady has offered some furniture; another man has offered me a table and others have offered household items. What a blessing that my apartment will be full of gifts and tangible reminders of God's love and provision.

** I've been seeing a counselor weekly, sometimes twice a week, since January. It has been so very helpful! Sometimes I walk out of her office just shaking my head thinking "Will this learning process ever stop? When will I get it?" other times I walk out with a huge smile on my face and praise in my heart as I reflect on the healing that is taking place. Every time I thank God for showing up, for revealing so much about His character and my need for Him... every time! A few things I am meditating on from recent sessions: before I do something I need to check my motivation: am I doing it because I feel guilty?convicted?joyful? Too many times I am motivated by guilt, either that I put on myself, that others put on me, or that I perceive from others. Yikes! God says there is no condemnation for His children, through Jesus Christ, so Erin, be free!

Today my counselor encouraged me to write a letter of closure to myself - to write as much as possible, as long as necessary, to facilitate a sense of closure of a season of life. Hmm, that sounds a bit painful. Am still chewing on that one. She's also encouraging me to be secure in my relationship with the Lord, to see myself through His eyes, to receive His confidence - that sounds better and am all about this!

** I am looking for a nursing job in Chicago and could really use your prayers. I have an idea of what I want to do and am currently researching all the jobs here in Chicagoland, working on my resume, and preparing for a couple mock interviews with helpful friends.

** I absolutely love Chicago! It is NOT all about cold weather, folks. Summertime is fantastic because the weather is so mild (July avg of 69 degrees!) and there are lots of free things to see and do. The first two pics are when Holly and I went to Millenium Park. There are two large (in blue) glass structures that act as fountains and video player! For 13 minutes, a video of a real person's face is on the 'waterfall', blinking, staring, etc. After 13 minutes, the person puckers his/her lips and 'blows' - then a part of the wall opens up (right at the mouth of the video) and water 'spits' out. Totally cool! The water is only 1/8 in deep, so even really small kids get to take
advantage of it.

Also, throughout the summer, Chicago Summer Dance offers free dance lessons and live music three times a week. Susan and I went last week on African Dance Night :-) I actually met Susan in Nigeria - she was there for two years with SIM! I am very thankful for her friendship because she really 'gets me' and she knows exactly what I am talking about, who I am missing, and why Nigeria is now and forever will be a part of me - because she feels the same way.

Whew - ok, Hazel, how did I do?

Pictures of girls needing prayer

2009-07-09T20:42:00.004-05:00

In my previous post, I shared the tragic story of sisters Ruth and Sarah. Here is their picture, along with another new girl who just arrived on Tuesday, with a similar background. Her name is Godiya. Beautiful smiles. Broken hearts. Please pray for restoration, healing, and complete freedom and deliverance.

Urgent Prayer

2009-07-08T17:04:00.001-05:00

I received the following message today....

City Ministries Nigeria just rescued two sisters who are in desperate need of prayer. Ruth (6) and Sarah (11) were lured into joining a secret witchcraft society. To enter this evil cult they had to sacrifice something of value to them. Brainwashed by the members, they gave permission for their mom to be murdered. This happened last week. The funeral took place Saturday.

Learning what had happened, their Uncle brought them to us immediately following the funeral services. Although finances have limited the amount of new kids we can take, we accepted these girls due to the urgency and nature of their situation. After an all day prayer session with the girls Sunday they gave their life to Christ...Hallelujah!

They are in desperate need of people interceding on their behalf. Here are some things you pray for:

~ Protection particularly between midnight and 3 AM (6 PM to 9 PM your time). Due to the nature of what they were involved in they are under heavy spiritual attack during the night.

~ Forgiveness. As the reality of what has taken place sinks in chances are the enemy will try and use guilt to lure them away from their freedom in Christ. Please pray that they grasp the concept that there sin has been paid for in full and they are blameless in the eyes of God.

~ Aunty Altine. She will be their new mother at the orphanage. Please pray for her and the other girls living in her house.

To my dad.....

2009-06-20T23:55:00.007-05:00

During my years in Nigeria, I became more and more grateful for my childhood and for the loving father God gave me. The children I took care of have been beaten by their dads, have been thrown out on the streets by their dads, have been disowned by their dads because the child chose to follow Christ, have been starved by their dads, have been cursed by their dads. The one person in their life who was created to protect them, guide them, accept them, teach them, encourage them in a way no one can... for so many children all over the world, their fathers have caused unspeakable harm

In the midst of the sorrow I saw, God opened my eyes even more to what an amazing Dad I have.

~ It was him, not Mom, who first put my hair in pigtails when I was 1 years old.

~ When I was 3 years old, he let me sit on his lap and drive the riding lawn mower... right into a fence.

~ Some of my favorite childhood memories are when Dad and I would wake up super early and go fishing on his boat. It didn't matter if my cast was pathetic, if I caught a tree, or if I got the twine all tangled up - he was so patient with me and I knew that he loved those mornings just as much as me. One morning, we were fishing for white bass and man, they were biting. We started a competition to see who could catch the most by a certain time... and I won! I think I caught 31 and he caught 27. It was awesome.

~ Every Christmas for years, Shane and I would wake up and go into Mom and Dad's bedroom and crawl in bed with Mom while Dad went downstairs to turn on the heater, start the fire, make the coffee and get things all cozy for us. For years we made him be "Santa Claus" by handing our gifts to us, as we went around the circle and watched each other open one gift at a time. One Christmas morning, I caught him putting together a dollhouse for me. I think he was bummed that I caught him, but it's a special memory for me because I saw the joy in his face as he worked on the surprise.

~ He makes the BEST omelets. Dad loves to make "Big Breakfasts" and I love to eat them.

~ If he knew that mom or I needed to go somewhere and our car was dirty, many times I would go outside and find a sparkling clean car. He still does this!

~ He loves to make the outside of our home beautiful. Dad has a natch for landscaping and every house we've lived in has been blessed by dad's hands.

~ Whenever he would leave in the early mornings to go fishing (when I wouldn't go), he always came and kissed my forehead before he left.

~ He always knew when I was trying to pull a fast one on him during High School and he was quick to discipline, but always quicker to love me in the midst of it all.

~ He loves to drive me nuts by mispronouncing words on purpose... like "guacamala"

~ When I am crying, he will start crying with me. (and I think this is AWESOME for a man to do this!).

~ If he doesn't want to cry, he will start laughing.

~ Every morning for years, he goes on one hour 'power walks' - an hour of powerful prayer and intercession. Our dog, Bonnie, who has spent these special hours with him for many years, has sure been privy to to some incredible conversations between my Dad and the Lord.

~Dad is an extremely gracious man.

~ Dad loves his family with a passion and seeks to serve the Lord every day of his life.

~ He loves my mom dearly and has been faithful to her all 37 years of their marriage.

I love you Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Princess

Don't Shrink Back

2009-06-18T09:41:00.018-05:00

There are so many thoughts in my head and I've felt compelled to share this journey, with the prayer that God will use what I am learning to encourage others. I've found it difficult to know where to start, which has prevented me from even starting. So, I am just going to dive in and share bit by bit and hope it makes sense.

The last 10 years of my life have been focused on either preparing to go to Nigeria or actually living there. My years in Nigeria were life-changing. So many times while I was there I thought to myself "This is what I was made for" - loving on orphans and caring for people in their distress. I felt so alive there, so full of God's love for His people. I was constantly amazed that He would allow me to be a small part in the lives of the precious children whom He loves so much. He has given me such tremendous love and compassion for them that it sometimes hurts, it is that powerful - how much I love them, how much I want to see them cared for and protected - it is, at times, overwhelming to me as I considered His love for His children. That love has not been quelled, even though I am not physically in Nigeria anymore.

The intensity of my emotions have made it difficult for me to express into words how I am feeling and what God is doing in the very deepest parts of my soul. I am resisting allowing myself to blend into the fabric of the culture in America. I feel like I have tasted the life God has available for all of His children - a life of adventure, freedom, intensity, surrender, miracles, and power - that I don't want to lose it, but continue to live a life of complete abandon, regardless of my location on this earth. I have wrestled with how to keep feeding the flame of passion the Lord has given me for Him and for His people, in the midst of a culture that seeks to distract me from Him.

Last Sunday at church, a lady stopped me in the hallway to encourage me and she said
"Don't shrink back". When I heard these three words, I felt knocked off my feet. YES! THAT is what I have been praying, crying out to God about - that I won't shrink back, away from the life He desires for all of His children. I don't want to shrink back into a life of self-serving rituals that extinguish the flames, where just cinders of rememberance are left. I don't want to shrink back into a place where I am so surrounded by distraction and meaningless pursuits, that I can't hear His voice and even come to a place where I would rather not hear what He has to say because I prefer to live life on my own terms.

I mentioned to my mom how powerful these three words are to me, and being the amazing and godly woman of the Word, she soon came to me with her Bible opened to Hebrews 10:36-39:

"For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, 'Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.' But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed,

but of those who have faith and preserve their souls."

Friends, may I encourage you who have received Christ's sacrifice for your sins and are seen as righteous in the eyes of God...

Endure. Do the will of God. Live by faith. Don't shrink back. Preserve your souls.

I asked God

2009-05-28T22:30:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I went in search for a journal, for fresh, clean pages to hold the emotions, prayers, questions, and tears of this season in my life. The first journal I saw had this poem on the front of it.... I couldn't have said it better myself... how I feel now, and the hope I have in God's promises.

I Asked God

I asked God for strength

that I might achieve.

I was made weak

that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health

that I might do greater things.

I was given infirmity

that I might do better things.

I asked for riches

that I might be happy.

I was given poverty

that I might be wise.

I asked for power

that I might have the praise of men.

I was given weakness

that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things

that I might enjoy life.

I was given life

that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for,

but everything I had hoped for.

He desires obedience.

2009-05-28T10:35:00.003-05:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of my lung surgery. It has been quite a year. It's fitting that today, I share with you another milestone in this journey.

After a lot of tears, prayers, tears, counsel, tears, wrestling with God... I know that He is closing the door on my return to Nigeria.

Did I actually just type that???

I was able to surrender last week and every minute since... I am in the midst of intense grieving... a death has happened... and yet, He promises strength and peace, which I receive and praise Him for.

The basic explanation is that I know God has shut the door, that He has clearly spoken to me, and it was one of the hardest decisions of my life... but I desire to obey and that obedience requires putting the kids, my home, my life in Nigeria... on the altar... to love Jesus more than them... That my desires will die and be stripped away, as I keep my eyes on my first Love.

Regarding my health, my recent breathing test results are the same as last October. Thankfully not worse. Wish they were better. My CT scan is clear, praise God. One doctor is adamant I not return. The others say it is up to me. I still have symptoms that come and go and my breathing is affected by the air quality around me.

I don't know if God has closed the door due to my health or not... I just know that He has spoken.

SIM has been very gracious and patient with me. We are looking at various ministry opportunities for me with SIM in the US. At this time, I am still a missionary with SIM, supported by individuals, through my Support Account. Funds sent to my Ministry Account are still being sent to my SIM colleagues in Nigeria to cover the medical and nutrition costs of the kids. To my financial team... I appreciate your continued financial support during this time. I will keep you posted as decisions are made.

I am not at a place to make big decisions about my future. I still need to process this decision.

I will be flying to Tennessee on Saturday for a week of grief counseling at Fairhaven Ministries It will be very intense, but greatly needed, and I am very thankful for this opportunity.

When the time is right and if God releases me to return to Nigeria, whether just to say good-bye and get closure, or to move back... you can bet I will be on the next plane.

Until then, step by step.

I wanted to inform you and thank you for walking through this grieving process with me.

Specific prayer requests... There are many layers to this grief:

1) I wrote a letter to the children. Please pray for their tender hearts, as it must be hard for them to understand and comprehend. Pray they will know my love for them, but most importantly that they will desire to follow Jesus in their own lives, no matter the cost.

2) I will not return to pack up my house, sell my dogs, sell my truck, etc. These temporal things tug at my heart, as they symbolize my home and sanctuary in Jos. Pray that I will have clarity to make decisions from here and for strength for those in Jos who will do all the work.

3) Please pray that I will allow the grief to come when I am in Tennessee. I've been holding back because I am not sure how to handle it, but I desire to meet it head on and I know that Jesus has allowed this storm and will meet me in the midst of it. Praise Him. (Matthew 14:22-33)

Erin

Tribute to my Mama

2009-05-10T19:44:00.008-05:00

I am so glad my grandparents got married and that they had my mom, Candace Cook, who was born and raised in Hawaii. I am so glad that my dad, Keith Rigsby, who was born and raised in California, loved to surf. I am so glad that his passion for surfing took him to Hawaii, where he met my mom. I am so glad that he saw what a catch she was and that he lured her in. I am so glad that they got married and had me. I am so glad I get to say that I was born in Hawaii ;)

As God had planned, Candace Cook Rigsby is my Mama. When I was born, she called me "Precious One" and has never stopped. We have a tape recording of when I was 2 or 3 yrs old and Mom and I are talking and going about our day. I love hearing my little voice, but even more I love to hear Mom's gentle, loving and patient one. Here's some other things I love about my mom...

~ she made homemade popsicles out of orange juice
~ she understood that I wake up very slowly in the mornings and never pressured me to be different
~ she would creatively pay my brother and I for doing chores around the house
~ sno-cones at Al's BBQ Barn
~ many, many, many trips to the library. She fostered a love for reading in my brother and me that will last for the rest of our lives.
~ for years, just before school started in August, she and I would have our annual shopping trip to Austin
~ her laugh
~ using our frequent flyer miles to go to Hawaii for my 20th birthday. Will never forget being taught how to surf at Waikiki by a Hawaiian man with a big belly, long hair and brown, leathery skin. Awesome.
~ driving me to T-ball practices/games, play practices, v-ball practices, b-ball practices, cheerleading, football games. Never complaining, always willing and happy.
~ the random memory of her eating 'wheat germ' when we were kids. Now, for the past 10 or so years, she has been drinking grass and carrot juice. But, hey, she is healthy :)
~ man, she made the best orange julius' when I was sick.
~ going on a mission trip to China with her and watching her come alive in ways I'd never seen before.
~ when I was 14, she would let me 'drive' from the passenger side, by holding onto the steering wheel. Of course, now she regrets doing that. But at the time, it got her the label of very cool mom.
~ she is super practical. If it's uncomfortable, she's not wearing it.
~ MANY a time, she has given great advice that makes perfect sense, but not always at the time when I am FEELING such and such. I've learned over the years to say 'Hey Mom, I am just venting. I will get your advice later'. And I always do, because it is always gooood.
~ hours of prayer and Bible Study. As far back as I can remember, my mom will lay in bed and just pray and pray and pray.... without falling asleep! What a warrior. She's going to get some crowns in heaven for all those hours talking with the Father. She also LOVES to read the Bible. Every day. She usually reads it before bed and I loved walking in and seeing her reading out of enjoyment and pleasure - with no agenda - only to know her Father more. She loves the Old Testament and loves reading through whole books at a time and gleaning from the mistakes and triumphs of the men and women who have gone before us. For 8 years, she was in Bible Study Fellowship and would spend 2-3 hours a day studying and praying. No wonder she is so full of grace and wisdom and love.
~ man, I sure put her through some you know what for a couple years in high school. Goodness, she persevered. She put her foot down. She didn't care about what others thought or what I thought - she knew what was right. She gave me space but also gave me discipline.
~ she could care less about being a 'cool mom'. She stood her ground, she was consistent, she said 'no', she made me come home, she took away the keys to my car, she told me exactly what was on her mind about what I was doing and who I was doing it with. And that, in my book, made her cool (although I never told her that at the time).
~ we were blessed that she was a stay-at-home mom our entire lives. It was so great to have her take me to school and pick me up each day.
~ the smell of her face when I hug and kiss her good-night. She has used the same facial products for years and years and oh, how I love the scent.
~ all my life, she has told me that rainy days are 'cozy days' - a great day to curl up and read a novel while drinking coffee. To this day, I still view rainy days as cozy days and am so glad she has passed this on to me.
~ attention to detail! She has taught me to never buy the clothes that are on top of the pile or at the front of the rack, since those are the ones that everyone touches. Get the best from the back. Inspect it, too. It also applies to noticing beautiful detail - in rooms, on walks, in restaurants. I love how she is all about the atmosphere of the place and that's how I am, too.
~ she is a loving, dedicated, prayerful and wonderful companion to my dad. I know it is a rare thing for a couple to be together for 36 years and I don't take it for granted.
~ when I had my lung surgery last year, she literally took on the symptoms herself. She didn't want them, but she had them because of her intense love for me. As I got better, so did she. Now that is something.

She visited me in Nigeria. It was precious for both of us, as she stepped into my world.

After she visited, we had a lovely vacation in England. We really enjoy each others company and just have fun together. No drama. I like that about my mom.

Boy, does this woman LOVE coffee. When I stayed with my parents, coffee was offered about every two hours. :-) I love how she has passed on to me the fun event of drinking coffee and loving it and sharing that time with others. I also get a kick about how hot she must have it - after she pours it, she puts it in the microwave for 30 seconds! She also adores our Twinkie-dog, her constant companion :)

I could go on and on... I love Candace Cook Rigsby soooooooooooooo much. Mom, thank you for loving me just as I am, for all you've done and continue to do for Shane and me, and for being just who you are - I wouldn't want you any other way. Fishy kisses, Mama!

Finding joy in the midst of uncertainty

2009-05-07T23:34:00.001-05:00

Taken from 'My Utmost For His Highest' by Oswald Chambers....

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says - "Well, supposing I were in that condition . . ." We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in. Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time.

When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, "Except ye become as little children." Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.

"Believe also in Me," said Jesus, not - "Believe certain things about Me." Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him.

Snapshot of History

2009-04-09T14:13:00.007-05:00

In my previous post, I shared with you about Ray de la Haye. His grandson, Doug, has this picture of Ray on his Facebook. I LOVE this pic and asked permission from Doug to share it with you. This pic was taken, decades ago, after Ray shot a hippo. I mean, how AWESOME is that?????? Check out all the Nigerians in the background. :) This is a sort of tribute to Ray - for living on the edge, right in the midst of the people, with a big smile on his face and Jesus in his heart and overflowing into his life!

I began at the end

2009-03-31T18:07:00.011-05:00

Before I moved to Nigeria in 2003, SIM asked me to spend a month in Sebring, FL, working as a nurse at the SIM Retirement Village. It was one of the most powerful months of my life. The Village is a small neighborhood that is owned by SIM. All the houses there are occupied by retired missionaries and the staff who care for them. It's a gorgeous, yet simple setting. There's nothing pretentious about it, yet it exudes of royalty.

The 'Saints of Sebring', as I fondly call them, are ages 65-98 years old! Many of them spent 30+ years overseas. When they went overseas (many went by ship), they knew it was very possible that they would not return. These Saints were not able to have contact with their families except through a letter every couple months. During my month there in 2003, I spent hours in their homes, listening to their stories of God's faithfulness, of tragedy, and of humor. Oh, how they made me laugh!

I felt very honored by the opportunity to 'begin at the end', as I like to call it. God allowed me to kind of fast-forward 40 years and see where I could be living. He prodded me with questions of commitment, conviction and concern to live without regret. He showed me what I needed, in my flesh, to see: His materialistic provisions to His people who have served Him with their lives - The homes are cute, the cars are nice, the health care is available.... I saw first-hand how He takes care of His children until our last breath.

When I visited in 2003, I was so sure that I would spend 30+ years overseas. I am thankful for that commitment God gave me, as it helped me to totally immerse myself in my life in Nigeria. Over the past couple years, God has been refining me and asking me if I am completely satisfied with Him, no matter where I go or what I do. With my recent health challenges, I have been learning more and more what it means to live in daily surrender.

Back to present day... I recently had the blessing of returning to Sebring again. As soon as I drove into the neighborhood, tears started flowing (I am not one to cry easily). I felt His presence so strongly then and every day I was there. God used those few days to once again refocus my passions, desires, motives, and purpose.

Here are a few of my Heroes in the Faith...

Penny Pinneo. She contracted Lassa Fever as a young missionary in Nigeria. She almost died, but God saved her and used the antibodies in her blood to save many other lives, too!
A phenomenal book, Fever: The Hunt for a New Killer Virus, was written about her! 60+ years later, Penny still has effects from the Fever. Penny has kept in touch with me over the past 5 years and her faithfulness to the Lord floors me and causes me to evaluate my own devotion.

Ruth Grimshaw. She spent 30+ years in Nigeria, teaching at a small Bible school in the bush. She was a 'real missionary'. I've been to the area she lived, and even now, decades later, it is too rural for me! She spends hours at her typewriter, encouraging missionaries and keeping in touch with those she loves.

Combined years of missionary service overseas: 125+... These dear saints treated me to lunch at the Olive Garden. Penny had never been before! They also surprised me with an envelope full of money and told me to treat myself. :-) Wow, right? Mom and I used their gift to go see the Broadway musical, Mary Poppins. One of the most fun I've had in a long time. Lois, in black, sends me a donation every month. She also tells the funny story: Back in her day, the SIM Nigeria policy was that if a guy and girl spent time together, they had to have a chaperone and they had to have a lantern with them. Lois says, with a straight face, that nobody ever said the lantern had to be lit. :-) Oh, my, what good laughs we had.

Ray de la Haye. I think Ray spent over 40 years in Nigeria. His children are also in ministry. I met him in 2003. He was fluent in Hausa and French and read out of his Hausa Bible everyday. Hausa is the language in the area of Nigeria I serve in. He was the first person I ever heard speak in Hausa. Over the years, Ray would send me short, typed notes, letting me know he prayed for me every day. Late in 2008, Ray had to move into a nursing home. When I visited Sebring a couple weeks ago, I went to see Ray. It was really difficult to see a shadow of the man I had known. He was unable to speak very well, but he smiled when he saw me and grasped onto my hand. Ray seemed so close to seeing his Savior face to face and I felt overwhelmed with emotions: of thankfulness to see him once again, of desire to serve faithfully to the end like Ray, of reality that our bodies are wasting away each day, but that we can be renewed in our spirits, through God's work in our lives... I kissed Ray on the forehead and told him, through my tears, how proud I am to have known him, that he has finished well, and that he is one of my heroes.

Two days later, Ray left this earth and is currently speaking his heart language with the Father.

Magnify

2009-03-27T19:02:00.005-05:00

I'd like to share with you something that I am learning and trying to put into practice each day...

If you're at a ballgame or at a play and your seats are in the back, it is difficult to see what is going on. You can use binoculars to help you see in better detail. The players or actors have not grown in size, but the binoculars magnify their size. A player you thought was skinny now looks strong. An actor you thought to be really pretty actually has a big pimple on her nose. The binoculars magnify everything and show you details that perhaps you wish would not have focused on and could have lived without.

Same with our thoughts.

The actual situation or issue may not grow in size. But the more we think about it, dwell on it, talk about it with others... the more it is magnified. The more its power over us grows. The more we magnify it, the more ugliness and imperfections we see - either in ourselves or in others.

But, if we focus on the Lord, if we think about Him, dwell on His promises and character, talk about Him with others.... the more He is magnified! The more power He has over us! The more of His beauty and perfections we see. The more we love Him... and love ourselves... and love others.

O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together. Psalm 34:3

May Erin always be fat

2009-03-01T20:55:00.007-06:00

In Nigeria, food is a luxury and health is not a right. Men like their women with meat on their bones. If the lifestyle did not demand so much physical labor and exercise, I think there would be a lot of very big people in Nigeria, because they love food! I love how they love their food! Many times I watched in amazement as our 7 year old boys would eat a portion of food three times what my stomach could handle. Because they are naturally a very active society: walking everywhere, carrying 30 lb buckets of water for long distances, playing soccer hours each day... they burn off all those calories and are really strong.

However, as they get older and have families, if the wife is a little (or a lot) overweight, to some tribes, it is a very good thing. To be overweight is to show that your husband is caring for you and is providing food for you. It is a luxury to have enough food that you are a little overweight. (I realize this may be a generalization, but this is what I have gathered from my years there.)

As a result, any time that a slender person should gain even a little weight, the Nigerians exclaim with glee and say 'Oh, you are so fat!', which, to a Nigerian, translates 'Oh, you are so healthy!'.
To an American woman, it translates as 'Oh, you are so fat!' :)

As a tall and usually pretty slender woman, my Nigerian colleagues and friends would notice if I gained a little or lost a little weight. I guess they felt that since I was slender, that I was not eating enough (which was sometimes true and also thanks to bouts of Giardia). And they also took it upon themselves to worry about me, since I don't have husband to do that.

During my 2006 furlough to Texas, let's just say I really enjoyed my chips and salsa. And was sick and pretty inactive for 3 months = some weight gain. Not fat by any means.... BUT, when I returned to Nigeria, OH how happy the kids, my colleagues and friends were! I cannot tell you how many times a DAY I heard "Oh, you are SO fat!", followed by hugs and laughter. I knew they were telling me they loved how I looked and were paying a compliment, indirectly, to the care my parents showed to me. :) My self esteem had to recover a bit, to be honest, but then I decided that it was a positive thing and sucked it up... and sucked it in.

All that brings me to last Sunday at The Moody Church. I sat down next to two lovely older ladies I have not seen in awhile. One of them remarked "You look like you are feeling better. How is your health these days?" The other one said "Yes, you look like you gained some weight."
Ok, now, how would YOU respond, ladies? I flashed back to all those hours I have spent in the gym the past few months, all those nutritious meals I have been eating, and then realize that, yes, I may have gained 5 pounds (of muscle, right?), but I FEEL great and am getting stronger and building my endurance.... so all that flashed in my mind in like 2 seconds... so I responded with laughter and said "Now, I am not sure how to respond to that. But I will say that in Nigeria, if a woman looks healthy, then people say she looks fat."

The dear old woman looked me in the eye and said with a straight face, "Well, then may Erin always be fat."

Amen.

Seattle!

2009-03-01T16:08:00.003-06:00

Last weekend I flew to Seattle to meet Jamie Higbee. Jamie spent 6 months in Nigeria, but we never connected because I was in the states recovering from surgery while she was there. During her time, Jamie kept a great blog www.jamiehigbee.blogspot.com and I felt like I already knew her before we met face to face. She was a great host and I loved getting to know her and hear her heart for the Lord and her desire to serve Him in any capacity. We had gorgeous weather during my visit - sunny and in the 50's - which I am told is very unusual for Seattle. We took advantage of it and spent a lot of time outside. The picture of us above was taken at Pike Place Market.

There were lots of fruit and vegetable stands, which kind of reminded me of Nigeria, since they were outside. The big difference is that, as you can see above, the prices for each item are displayed. In the Nigerian markets, there are no set prices, so you have to barter for everything, which I actually loved to do.

I've never liked any seafood I've tasted, so when Jamie asked me what I wanted to do in Seattle, I mentioned eating some fresh seafood, since not eating seafood for all of these years has away a lot of fun and healthy options! Jamie likes clams (ugh), so I took this shot of her at the market. We did go out to eat for some INCREDIBLE seafood - I am now a fan of crab cakes and salmon. Jamie's kind fiance paid for our meals, so that made it taste even better. Thanks, Shawn!

At Pike Place Market is the first ever Starbucks Store. Of COURSE I had to go there. Notice the look of excitement on my face. It's on a boardwalk of sorts, and the inside of the store has very old wooden floors and counters. The place was packed and after the cashier took the orders, he/she would throw the cups across the store to the baristas. Very fun atmosphere. It was warm outside... 50 degrees!... so I enjoyed my first frappuccino in months.

Outside the Starbucks was this singing quartet (fourth guy stepped out of the shot), which added to the atmosphere.

Pike Place Market is famous for throwing fish. Seriously. The chaps who work at this stand (see one of them in the orange fishing pant thingys) sing out to one another and from time to time throw big fish to each other. We were able to be there when a couple of the customers ordered these big black fish and they volunteered to catch them. So the chap stood about 20 feet from the customer and tossed the fish and hey, the lady caught the fish beautifully and the man almost dropped it. I was impressed and proud at that moment.

There are lots of little islands around Seattle. Early Saturday morning we went on a ferry ride to one of the islands. It was a beautiful ride and perfectly clear morning. Jamie says that sometimes whales make an appearance. These huge ferries go back and forth every hour, carrying cars and people. It was a fun, cultural thing to experience.

When we arrived at the little island, we headed straight to this little crepe shop. Yum! If you've never had one, please do yourself a favor and eat one when you can... the best kind is with Nutella, strawberries, and whip cream. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Eating our crepe's!

The view on the way back to the ferry.

We did actually do some 'work' while I was there. :) We set up two tables in the sanctuary of her church. After each service, we were able to share with a lot of individuals about City Ministries. We also sold bags and pants that the widows in our ministry make. Below, Jamie is modeling how to put on the wrap pants - which is an interesting process, but the final look is great! Sorry I don't have a pic of the final look, though.

It was a really fun trip and it was so great to get to know Jamie better. I love seeing how God works, how He connects people and brings them together to accomplish His purposes.

Divine Appointment

2009-02-15T21:57:00.003-06:00

What is a 'Divine appointment'? It's when you cross paths with someone and you know, without a doubt, that God orchestrated it for a very specific purpose. Well, that's my definition and that's how I pray, that God will bring people across my path in ways I could not come up with, to achieve His plans in our lives.

Today's Divine appointment~ I've been borrowing a friends car, but she needed it this weekend. Church is too far away for me to walk, so I tried calling the cab company a few times, but never got through. I figured it would take awhile for me to get a cab on the street on a early Sunday morning, so I intended to get an early start. Well, if you know me, you know I am not a fast mover in the mornings, especially if I have not had enough coffee. So I finally got out the door and walked to the main street near my apartment. I looked up and down the street and no taxis were coming. Then I heard a honk and saw that a taxi was parked on the side of the road 'waiting' for me. (per God's agenda).

On the way to church, the driver asked me if The Moody Church has a lot of people (yes). He then asked if you have to wait in line to get a seat ( I explained no). He then asked me how I pray and what do I pray (so I briefly shared that because I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I talk to Him about everything, at any time).

By this point, I could tell he was interested and then I noticed that he had the Moody radio station turned on. So I asked him if he goes to church. Ajit* said that he used to go a lot, but then his wife stopped going and so he stopped going.

He said in all the 23 years of driving taxis, he has never had a woman in his cab going to church on Sunday mornings. (for REAL?) So now I was really interested and by this time, we had pulled up to the entrance, so we could really start talking.

Ajit is from India and is from a Muslim background. But a few years ago, one of his sons started attending a church in Chicago. One by one, all of his children, his wife, and then him started going to church and 'converted' from Islam. Ajit kept referring to his wife and I can tell the Lord has really used her in his life (ladies, don't give up!). I asked him if he reads the Bible and he said he cannot understand the 'thees', 'thous' and all that - Oh! So I wrote down that he should try out the New International Version and start in the book of John.

"When I am in church, I am a different person. When I am not in church, I am not happy." Ajit said.

So I encouraged him to bring his wife to Moody. I told him that all different nationalities and backgrounds are represented at Moody. I then asked him if I could pray for him and he responded enthusiastically!

Ajit said that he never stops and parks his cab, but for 'some reason' he did it this morning just before I crossed the street. :) I encouraged him that the Lord loves him so much and wanted to encourage him this morning.

I share this because I want to increase my faith - sharing God's work with others does that. I share this because Ajit needs prayer and I want to let you know about him. I share this because I want to encourage you to pray for Divine appointments - for God to use you in the lives of others as you go about your daily tasks. The more you pray for it, the more aware you are. The more aware you are, the more empowered you are to be used by God to accomplish His purposes!

God's plan for each life will be accomplished - with or without us. What a blessing that He wants to include you and me to reach out, to love, to be bold, to show compassion, to share Truth.

Let's keep inviting Him in to our days, our errands, our decisions.... and live in expectation to be used for His glory!

*not his real name

Favour's new life

2009-01-26T13:03:00.003-06:00

Favour is 4 years old. She and her brother, Abraham, who is 9 years old, have endured things no child should. Their mother was a prostitute. When she would go to work, she would leave the children behind and tied Favour by her leg to the bedpost to keep her from leaving. Abraham was in charge of watching Favour each night. Last year, their mom suddenly died and a Nigerian woman from a local church took in the two orphans. However, her husband said that they could not care for Favour and Abraham, in addition to their own six children. The woman heard about City Ministries and in October 2008, Favour and Abraham moved into one of our Care Centers.

I just received news that Favour is doing really well and has just started preschool! Here are a few pictures taken on her first day of school.

Favour was rescued from a life of neglect, poverty and fear. She is now thriving in a safe, loving and Christ-centered environment. Favour now gets to go to school and play and laugh and eat three meals every day... the life that every child should have.

Pieces of the Tapestry

2009-01-16T23:30:00.008-06:00

What is a Tapestry? It is a form of art, where all the individual pieces are hidden in the completed work.

Today, I saw a small thread of God's tapestry when His people gathered in a conference room on the 17th floor of a building in the heart of downtown Chicago. I saw mostly men, lawyers, who make it a priority to stop once and week and come together to encourage one another and to be taught from the Word. They dug into the Word, they asked questions, good discussions were going on, but all under incredible humility. In this corporate environment, all credentials were checked at the door as we all sat down to learn from the Word through the Holy Spirit and through each other.

The gentleman who approached me after church last week, had invited me to attend this study and to come as often as possible. He is brainstorming about how he can help me connect with some people who love Africa, people who have a passion for children and how they could possibly partner with City Ministries.

I left that meeting and hopped into a cab to take me across the river (you've see the scenes in the movies). It's gorgeous and frozen now. I hop out just after crossing the bridge and head to my next appointment and the next thread in the tapestry. I am joyfully embraced by a woman who's never met me face to face, but apparently has made use of my blog and website and is full of compassion for the lost and wants to come up with ways to improve their lives and also help them to grow in Christ. She has been praying for a long time for one woman to come and help her know how to start living overseas. (She thinks I may be the answer to her prayer!) She is really praying about going to Nigeria for a 6 weeks vision trip and seeing what God does through that in her life and how that could expand in many other ways. We had a great chat over yummy broccoli, hummus, and cashews, with her dog laying by the fire.

These are ways that God is interweaving His threads in the tapestry of life. It is beautiful, to step back and see, but it is a limited view because all of us have our own piece that is being created. And one day, we will be in speechless awe when we can view how our every day decisions really impact so many others actions because we are all created equal and in that creativity, the uniqueness we each possess, the uniqueness that gets us off the boat and into the water, the gift that allows us to do something we never thought possible, that prayer that renews hope, that justice that saves one from despair... all the heartbeat of ONE... our Audience of ONE. When, in fact, we are His Audience as He moves, creates, refines, burns, tears, restores His children so that we are where we are to fulfill His purpose for us in that little piece of the tapestry.

Piece by piece by piece, we start to see His plans, purposes and reasons. A limited view, yes, but we are allowed enough to be encouraged to keep adding to the tapestry of our lives so that He can complete the Masterpiece.... and then we can all go Home.

Until then, my piece.... your piece... woven through our obedience to His Holy Spirit who guides and instructs. Making decisions that unselfishly do not meet our needs, but look to the needs of others. Our pieces woven through tears, sacrifice, loss, joy, hope, fun, good health, poor health... There IS a purpose to it all! It is not all for nothing! Oh the beautiful love of Jesus. So simple, free and available to all. Accept His love and watch Him use your past and present experiences to weave a beautiful tapestry and then hands it over to you to continue. He has the Plan and knows the End. But He wants us to experience the joy of hearing His voice and obeying Him and seeing how our actions can very positively affect people around us. He wants us to see that we may feel insecure or unable to accomplish anything. But He reminds us that He has just given us a small piece of the tapestry (of the picture) and that is all we are responsible for now. He'll give us more when we are ready. More opportunities, more of those out-of-the-comfort-zone times, more challenges, more victories.... all part of the plan of His Ultimate Plan for His Kingdom.

Thank, You , Lord for being so detail oriented and for giving us the incredible honor to see how You connect people, places, ideas, strategies, creativity, resources.... all for the end game, the completed work of Your tapestry...
That every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

He took it !!

2009-01-12T08:45:00.002-06:00

On December 13th, I wrote a blog and titled it 'He can take it'. I shared my struggle with the financial needs of the ministry and how I knew I was depending too much on myself to try and fix the problem. That's so American, by the way, to try and fix everything. :) I am praying that I will focus more on relationships than on tasks, but that is a challenge here in this task-driven society. Well, God knows my heart....

Anyways, the reason I was so burdened on the 13th, was because I was sharing about the ministry at The Moody Church Christmas Festival on the 14th. To about 4,000 people. Yeah.

I rarely ever get nervous in public speaking, so the fact that I was nervous made me even more nervous. That's why I knew I needed to take it to Him, and let Him take it from me. And boy, did He take it!!!

Yesterday in church, Pastor Lutzer shared how, in the 30 years of being at pastor at Moody, he had never said something about the people of Moody Church . He had never said that he is proud of them. But, he decided it is time to say he is proud of the church! Then he called me up on stage (took me by surprise) and said "At the Christmas Festival, Erin shared that City Ministries needs $50,000 to help feed the kids. We did not get $50,000. This morning, your bulletin says we got $62,000. We did not get $62,000. In fact, we raised $76,500!!!"
(again, took me by surprise). :)

Is that not just the coolest, most wonderful display of generosity from God's people? Especially taking into consideration the economic issues. This testifies that God is not bound by earthly things and that His purposes will be accomplished! It is up to us if we want to be a part of His plans.

I am so thankful to Pastor Erwin Lutzer (pictured here on the night of the Festival) for his support, compassion, and love for City Ministries Nigeria. The people of The Moody Church have sacrificially given, so very generously, so that the children in Nigeria can know that they will get three meals every day for the next year.

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. ~ Malachi 3:10

Watching the video

2008-12-18T22:25:00.006-06:00

For all of the folks who subscribe to this blog and automatically get the new entries...
Apparently when you got the one I sent a couple days ago, the video may not have shown up in your inbox.
Please click HERE to see it.
Sorry about that. Was the first time I've ever posted a video.

Take a 4 Minute Trip to Nigeria

2008-12-17T17:09:00.011-06:00

You are formally invited to take a brief journey to Nigeria! I would love to take this opportunity to bring the children of City Ministries into your home. May the hope, love and peace in their faces encourage you and bless your hearts. So turn up the volume on your speakers, sit back, relax and enjoy this exciting trip to Nigeria!

Sara Groves is singing the song in this video, called "I Saw What I Saw".... She wrote it after her visit to Rwanda.

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it
Something on the road, cut me to the soul
Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of (what I am made of) and what I know of love.

Words cannot express the gratitude the children and we in the ministry have for all of the people who have partnered with us; in prayer, finances, resources, visits, emails, gifts, encouraging words.... Because of you, we can continue caring for the 350 + children in our Care Centers.

Because of you:
~ they get 3 hot, nutritious meals a day
~ their school fees are paid for each term
~ they receive medical care
~ they have a blanket and a bed to call their own
~ they have clean clothes and shoes and take a bath every day
~ they are loved by Nigerians who live with them, teach them the Word of God, and provide a
safe place for them to call Home
~ they are being equipped to be future Christian leaders in Nigeria

Without you:
~ they would go hungry
~ they would be illiterate and uneducated
~ they would be constantly sick with malaria, giardia, typhoid, etc
~ they would be sleeping on the streets
~ their clothes would be torn and dirty and their bodies would be covered in filth
~ they would be taken advantage of, could turn to a life of crime and violence, and would not be protected from the evils of abuse and street life
~ they would possibly be without the hope, life and eternal salvation through Jesus Christ

Click here to help us contine caring for the children we already have, and to allow more children to come off the streets, away from abuse, out of despair....and into a family of love and protection! After you fill out the form, you'll be directed to another page... Designate your gifts 'Erin Rigsby - Ministry Account' -- and you can be assured whatever amount you give will directly impact the lives of these children.

He can take it

2008-12-13T22:01:00.007-06:00

Why is it that I tend to take the responsibility on my shoulders? Responsibility for my friends' well-being, the stranger who does not know Christ, the decisions that other people make that will impact their own lives, the health of our kids in Nigeria, the ever-increasing and oh, so burdening needs we have to care for all these kids.... (this last one is really weighing on me). It's like I somehow feel that in my feeble, limited, and biased understanding of life, that I can actually have the power within these bones and marrow to really make a difference. I mean, why would I trust this body and mind that are decaying minute by minute, have failed me time and time again, and continue to drive me nuts by their weakness... and yet I still have a tendency to think "Ok, Self, let's get to it, make this work, get things done, make a difference." Geez, what pride and ignorance and just plain stupidity. Now, I am not condemning myself here, just stating the facts. And I am really just reminding myself that I am not able to do anything of eternal value within my own strength, intellect, ability, or even determination. Everything done within my own 'strength' will get burned up and won't last. I am reminded tonight that Eternal Significance is not what is seen, but what is unseen. What a relief to know that the things I see, that you see, are not really all there is. There is more, oh so much more!!!

Father, please forgive me for even thinking for a second that I can accomplish anything of eternal worth apart from You. Thank You for the Holy Spirit Who instructs, convicts, and guides. I don't want to be the same person day after day. In my inmost being, I want to grow, to be molded, to decrease in my selfish ambitions and vain deceit. How foolish of me to get anxious about finances in our ministry - they are YOUR children whom You have brought to us and You will take care of them! You love them as much as You love me. You love me as much as You love them! I receive Your love and forgiveness and pray that not by my meek might, nor by my pathetic power, but by Your Spirit will You move mountains and show Yourself mighty in Power, Provision, and Peace! In the Name of Jesus, the Name Above All Names, I pray. Amen and Amen.

Life lessons

2008-11-25T18:39:00.013-06:00

I recently found out that I have been medically cleared to return to Nigeria! My doctors and SIM discussed my situation and agreed that I may return in May/June next year. Until then, I will work for SIM in Chicago as a recruiter and a mentor to people preparing to go into missions.

My journey the past 7 months has been an arduous, yet beautiful one. When I went in the hospital for my lung surgery, my doctor said I may never get to return to Nigeria. Oh, how my heart broke and I literally cried out to God from my hospital bed. "Why, Lord, would You give me such an intense passion for the children, only to take it away? Why, Lord, when You ask for people to go into the world, would you keep me from going?" I was confused, angry, and felt at a loss for words to what was going on in my heart. There were days when I just wanted to ignore God and not talk to Him, to just live my own life. Oh, praise HIM! for not allowing my heart to harden. Even in the dark moments, by His strength, I kept the lines of communication open with Him. I told Him exactly how I was feeling at that moment. If I was angry at Him, He knew. If I was tempted to rebel, He knew. Although in His infinite power He already knew my heart, He loved and continues to love to hear me tell it to Him. This brings the emotions, doubts and fears to the surface and into the light. When truth is exposed, darkness has no power - it must flee in the presence of light.

I admit that at first, I was a very determined lady. I insisted, to anyone who asked, that I was definitely going back to Nigeria. I could not imagine otherwise. Over the weeks of a slow and painful physical recovery, my spirit was also recovering. The Lord promises to heal us, but not necessarily physically. His utmost desire is that we love Him above ourselves and that we love His people. In His gentle way, He revealed to me that to move forward in any way, without His blessing, would not only be foolish, but potentially dangerous. Were my desires His desires? Were my thoughts His thoughts? Was I really willing to obey Him, even if it meant not allowing me to see my children in Nigeria again, my dogs, my house, my dear friends? It was not an easy or fast process. God used His people, His Word, and His voice on many occasions to speak truth in the midst of my storm of emotions.

Over the months, through the lessons I was learning, I began to feel waves of peace and contentment. I desperately wanted to hold onto them, but then I would look at pictures of Nigeria, or I would have a difficult time breathing, and then discouragement would come again. God really does not want us to let our feelings dictate the way we live and the decisions we make. We are emotional beings, but so many times I find that my emotions are so much all over the place that I can't trust myself. Good. Oh, that I will not trust in man, money, health, circumstances... that my decisions and passions should come from knowing Him, from desiring Him, from trusting Him -- the One who created me and knows me so much better than I know myself.

By the time I went for a week of hospital tests in Colorado in October, I was full of contentment and peace and really expected to be told that I could not return to Nigeria. Of course, I still really wanted to return, but since God had been teaching me so many lessons, I figured it was to prepare me to really let go of my life in Nigeria. So, you can imagine my surprise when the doctor told me that he would clear me to go back to Nigeria. I have 'constrictive bronchiolitis', meaning that my lungs trap air and don't expel it as efficiently as they should. However, he feels that it is mild and should not worsen. The dry season in Nigeria (Oct - April) would irritate and cause coughing, so that is why I am not returning until May/June.

Life lessons have been taught to me by Jehovah Rapha, our God Who Heals. I praise Him that I was able to discern His voice, to continue communicating with Him, to daily/hourly choose to let go.... and in letting go, I have received His heart's desire for me... for I am His heart's desire. And so are you.

"Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let Your steadfast love be upon us, O Lord, be upon us, even as we trust in You." Psalm 33:20-22.

New Girls

2008-11-01T14:59:00.007-05:00

In the past few weeks, I have learned about the new girls who have arrived in our Care Center.
Although I have not had the opportunity to meet them yet, I am already drawn to them and love them dearly. Their faces and their stories are heart-breaking, yet hope-giving... The Lord took them out of painful and hopeless surroundings and brought them to a new home where they are loved and protected.

Favor is 3 1/2 years old. We usually take in children who are older, but her situation was very traumatic. She arrived last week with her 9 year old brother. Favor's mother was a single parent and a prostitute who lived on her own with no contact to any family. She used to go to work at night and would tie Favor to the bed post with string so that she would not wander. Then at Christmas time last year, their mother suddenly died and never left any provision for them.

A lady from the local church who had tried to befriend the mother took them in, but as she has six children of her own, her husband gave her the ultimatum either them or him....so...amongst much sadness she brought them to us. Here is precious Favor... what a fitting name for the way the Lord has bestowed Favor on this young child!

Patience a sweet, 10 year old. She is an orphan who was brought into the ministry because she was neglected by her relatives.

Rose, a spunky ten year old, is an orphan was brought to the ministry after her life was at risk from her family and her community because of her involvement in a cult.

Happy and Sandra, funny little sisters, ages 6 and 9, were brought to us by their aunt who took them out of a broken, polygamous home.

Although these girls and the rest of the children are across the world from me, I think of them and dream about them all the time. This passion in my soul, this burning to help them and to love them, it seems to consume me... this need to serve our Father and love His children is slightly quenched when I can share their stories with you.

Choose to refuse

2008-09-29T20:48:00.004-05:00

Our God has a sense of humor. I flipped open the wonderful devotional "Jesus Calling" to the 'wrong' days entry, but the first few words caught my eyes, so I read it and was put in my place. Many of us are in a place of unknown and questions and I hope this will encourage you as much as it encouraged me....

"Trust Me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks - or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. Because I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work alongside Me.

Keep bringing your mind back to the present moment. Among all my creatures, only humans can anticipate future events. This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse whenever it is misused. If you use your magnificent mind to worry about tomorrow, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief. However, when the hope of heaven fills your thoughts, the Light of My Presence envelops you. "

(Exodus 15:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Hebrews 10:23)

Wow. Chew on that for a little bit and digest it, so that you choose to refuse to worry. Choose to refuse. Choose to refuse. Choose to refuse.

Miracle's do happen

2008-09-22T18:16:00.007-05:00

Earlier this year I introduced Miracle to my blog readers. She was found as a newborn, lying in dirt with a dog chewing on her umbilical cord. For the full story, see the entry on Jan 28,2008.
This is the picture she and I took together when she was two months old.

I fell in love with her and would see her often to love on her and watch her grow. Nicky sent me these pictures of her now. Is she not just the most adorable thing??? You can see why Aunty Erin is really really missing her. She is now 10 months old and has started to walk !!! she didn't bother crawling just got up and walked...she is such a beautiful little girl it is so hard to imagine why someone should want to abandon her, but God had other plans for her life....and she is...

a walking Miracle.

In Nashville

2008-09-20T15:09:00.003-05:00

Greetings from Nashville... I arrived here yesterday to visit a dear friend, Jessica. She and I met our first week at Univ. of Mary Hardin-Baylor back in 1996, and have been close ever since. During my furlough a couple years ago, I was blessed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding to David White. This weekend David is gone, so we're having lots of fun catching up, drinking lots of coffee, playing with her dogs, and enjoying the mild Nashville weather.

My time in Chicago was very good for me emotionally, spiritually and physically. I still get tired easily, so it was nice to have the time to pace myself as I met with lots of people over the 5 weeks I was there. The weather was incredible, except for the 2 very rainy days when Ike came through - yep it even reached Chicago! Being around my friends really lifted my spirits and made me feel 'alive' again. They encouraged me and loved on me through their words and actions. I stayed in Sue Cortolillo's apartment, the same place where I lived before I went to Nigeria in 2003! So I felt completely at home. My favorite place in her home is the window seat and since she lives on the second floor, the windows look out right onto the trees. I spent hours sitting there thinking, praying and thinking some more. God was near to me and met me in my mixed emotions of joy, confusion, anxiety, excitement, and anticipation.

A friend sent me a small devotional book called "Jesus Calling". Here is an excerpt:

"I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring me all your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything into my care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace."

1 Peter 5:6-7, Proverbs 16:9, Psalm 37:5

Eyes that see

2008-09-04T19:36:00.009-05:00

I could not know, would not know. I could not know how Africa would touch me, bend me, remold my heart. Sometimes there is a place you do not know about, but it is still there, outside your knowledge. When you reach this place you change, and you wonder how you could possibly have lived without the knowledge of it inside you. For everything I see now is through eyes that could not see before, ears that did not hear, and a heart that would not understand...*

* taken from 'Into the Nevernight' by Anne de Graaf

some pictures courtesy of Jamie, fellow missionary in Nigeria. www.jamiehigbee.blogspot.com

Days in Dallas

2008-08-17T19:03:00.007-05:00

I finally felt good enough to drive to Dallas last week. I have good friends in the area, so I wanted to make the most of the opportunity. First, I went to Becca’s apartment to get ready for Jennie’s shower. Now, Becca and I live in our flip flops, so we were debating what to wear. Then we thought of what Jennie would wear (so glad she sent me a picture) and figured that it was time for us to toss the flops and grab the heels. When we arrived, however, we saw a lady come out of the house wearing a casual outfit, which kinda threw us for a loop. We debated on going back to change into jeans, but instead decided to hold our heads high and walk inside like we knew everyone (knew no one). Yeah for Dallas Wedding Showers! Everyone (except Capri Chick) were looking good, so we fit right in. ;) Taco Cabana catered the meal, so we chowed down (delicately) amongst roses, candlelight, music and strangers. Jennie is a wonderful, godly woman who will be marrying an amazing man, Roy. We were blessed to be a small part of her celebration.

Christine and her family spent 2 years in Nigeria. It was wonderful to catch up with her.

Etc.... I enjoyed being a part of Prom Week at the Dallas Market. Many of the dresses had corsets. Beautiful, but difficult to lace up quickly. Got the hang of it and really enjoyed getting to know the other girls. Many of them are Christians, so that really gave the atmosphere one of laughter and peace. In that kind of environment, jealousy and competition usually reign, but we were so busy telling the models how gorgeous they looked in the dresses, laughing when we could not get the corsets tied in time and had to walk with the model to the curtain while trying to get the thing tied at the same time!, and getting to know one another, that it was a very positive experience.

Jennifer and I met for Indian food at Roti Grill. It was great to catch up with her. It's amazing how we can just pick up right where we left off. Since we've known each other since kindergarten, we have a lot of history and a strong friendship.

I was blessed to see Julie, a friend from nursing school. While enjoying incredible Kung Pao Chicken at Asian Mint, we shared our nursing experiences since graduation and laughed at memories of nursing school - oh, that time of our lives was so full of stress and fear and late nights and coffee. Lots of coffee.

Vi Hanson is such a precious and powerful prayer warrior. She is in her 80's, I think, and is just as sweet as can be. I inadvertently surprised her (miscommunication) by showing up at her door. But she welcomed me with such joy and a gorgeous smile, which stayed on her face the whole time! Christ's love pours out of her and I was so blessed and honored to be in her presence. If only I will grow up to be like her.

Much love and thanks to Jana, the Whites, Becca, and all who loved on me. It was a great trip.

Today I fly to Chicago, thanks to wonderful medicine and powerful prayers. Please pray that my lungs will hold up well during the flight (first since my surgery).

Off to Dallas

2008-08-09T13:30:00.004-05:00

I am so excited about my trip to Dallas. I am leaving today and will be back in Salado next Thursday. I won't get to see all my friends in Dallas, but am happy about the full schedule ahead.

Tonight - Wedding shower for a good friend from college, Jennie Clay
Sunday - hanging out with Becca Webb and watching lots of the Olympics
Monday - meet up with Jessica (Hobratsch) White at the Dallas Market. She is a model for 'Prom Week' (even though she is 30! - she looks amazing!) and I get to help dress her backstage all day Monday and Tuesday. Monday evening - dinner with Jennie and Becca
Tuesday - work all day. Dinner with Jennifer Burrows, friends since kindergarten!
Wednesday - in the morning I will spend some time with Vi Hanson and Louise White, some sweet older women who are two of my prayer warriors. For lunch, will meet up with Julie Birdsong, friend and study partner during nursing school. In the afternoon, will drive to Rockwall and crash for a nice nap at Jana Tucker's house. In the evening, will go to CAbi at Janice White's, hosted by Christine Rothchild (whose family were in Nigeria for 2 years) to help raise money for our kids! Sleep at Jana's.
Thursday - meeting with team leaders from Crazy Texas Team from Lakepointe Church in Rockwall. This amazing team has been going to Nigeria twice every year for 6 or 7 years! Drive home!

I'm so thankful for this time of connecting, encouraging, supporting and just having fun!

Letters and Life

2008-08-07T15:01:00.006-05:00

I know the kids and staff of City Ministries in Nigeria have been fasting and praying for me ever since I left in April - well, they have not been fasting that whole time! But, they are seriously amazing prayer warriors and I am so incredibly blessed to have them lifting me up. A couple weeks ago I wrote a letter to them, which included pictures, and made 200 copies of it. In the letter I thanked them for praying and also shared with them what God is teaching me. I sent the letters with the Chicago team. Today I received pictures that Nicky took when she handed the letters out to the girls. She said the girls 'were so excited. They were dancing around and all trying to read at once.'

The first two pictures show the girls in their yard, looking at my letter.

Here is the 'grandmother' of the girls. She's a widow, who prayed for 3 years for God to give her a ministry. God brought her to us earlier this year to help care for our girls. Here she is, returning from collecting firewood, with the girls showing her the letter I wrote. I love this picture!

Nicky said that they have all written me back already and I'll get their letters when the Chicago team returns. Yeah!!

I have not always been so good at taking action shots, and I love how these pictures show the girls in their environment. Very African. :)

Also, I am amazed at how much impact we can have on people's lives, without even realizing it. These girls have blessed me so much and I have learned many things from them. God has given me such deep love for them that it hurts - I suppose it may be similar to the love a mom has for her own children. Like these girls watched every move I made, heard every word I said, and noticed every facial expression while I was in their presence.... we are being watched every day. People all around us are seeking peace, joy, love and satisfaction. Are they seeing these characteristics in our faces and our lives? ... In the lines at Target, while waiting for our food at a restaurant, while pumping gas, during church? I definitely need to step up my personal time with the Lord. Only during those quiet moments will I really become filled with His Holy Spirit and then these characteristics will overflow out of a heart who knows her Master and worships Him through her life.

Off to school...

2008-08-01T17:34:00.009-05:00

This time of year, many of you are buying all the things that you or your child will need to go back to school for the new year: Bags, pencil cases, pens, socks, shoes etc…

In City Ministries, Nigeria, we also have to get our children ready to start back to school... all 300 of them !!!

And so we are asking as you purchase items for your child or relatives, please consider helping us, too!

It costs us approximately $ 150 per year / per child to provide the equipment and clothing needed for school, as nothing is provided for the children at school except a teacher !!!

** GO Nigeria," a U.S. based non-profit organization, is providing a $50 matching grant for each $100 donated for school fees/books. **

Mail your tax-deductible checks to: GO Nigeria, Memo: children's educational needs

P.O. Box 1176, Rowlett,Texas 75030-1176

Name them one by one

2008-07-29T21:48:00.004-05:00

There are a handful of blogs that I check on a regular basis. If these folks don't regularly post something, I get frustrated. Especially since they are mostly in Nigeria, working with the kids I love and miss so terribly much, and their blogs make me feel closer to 'home'. Then I started thinking that maybe I should be better at posting snippets myself. :)

Today I went back to the 'Pain Clinic' - yep, that is its name. The good 'ol nerves that got damaged thanks to the chest tubes are going to be acting up for awhile, so I have to stay on top of them, or the pain is pretty intense. If you have had Shingles, then you know what I am talking about. Let me back up.... about a month ago I got my first round of 6 injections of steroids in my side (!). However, those did not work (!). A dear man from my church in TX had been keeping close tabs on me, since he is an anesthesiologist and a supporter of mine. A week after the 6 shots, I was pretty miserable. I called him on a Sunday evening and asked if he would be able to work me in to see someone in the morning (never hurts to ask). He told me he'd call me right back. When he called, he asked how long it would take me to get to the hospital. I paused, waiting, and then said, 'You mean, now?' - it was 8pm on a Sunday. So my dad drove me to a back entrance, where this precious man met us and took us back to the surgery department, where his colleague was on-call that night. One hour and 10 more injections later, I walked out of there with bad memories of the injections, but feeling oh so good. Back to today... although I was feeling pretty good, the doctor suggested I go ahead and get more injections (10 more!) so that I will feel pretty much pain-free for awhile. Yeah for that!...

Also, Aunty Erin got to talk to about 20 of her boys in Nigeria today! That was a wonderful 2 hours and money very well spent, I tell you. They just encouraged me so much. One of the younger ones got very serious and said 'Aunty, I have a verse for you. It is Psalm 3:4 'To the Lord, I cry out and He answers me from His holy hill.' Is that not precious or what? They are all so excited about camp, which will be in a couple weeks....

The Chicago Moody Church team is all ready to head out to Nigeria on Friday. I have been so blessed to be a part of the camp preparations on this end of things. I co-directed the camp last year with my co-worker Elisha. In my absence, my dear friend Nicky has stepped up and has done an amazing job getting things prepared. A lot of the camp info was stuck in my head and not on a computer file...so, emails have flown back and forth and phone calls galore - and things are looking good. I had a lot of fun shopping for supplies, games, prizes, etc for the team to take over (about 70 pounds worth of stuff !)....

I am also so thankful that I am feeling so much better (26 shots later:) and signed up for a month's membership at a fitness center here in Salado. Today was my second day and I am sore, but very happy to be rehabilitating myself. As I have said to many and now it is coming back to kick me..... if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of others.

It's been a good day. It really does help to count your blessings, name them one by one.....

I miss the girls....

2008-07-10T14:54:00.014-05:00

I miss the sweet, sweet girls. The highlight of my week is when I would drive out to Gyero on Tuesday afternoon's and spend the night. To get there, I drive down a highway for about 20 minutes. Then I turn off onto a dirt road full of potholes and dust (or mud in the rainy season)--- and beautiful farmland and birds and hills--- for another 15 minutes. One of my favorite things was when I would drive up to the concrete wall surrounding the girls compound and all of them would come running to my truck saying 'Aunty Erin, Aunty Erin' and I would get 10 hugs and smiles. Then they would follow me around to the back of my truck and 'help' me open it. I would usually have lots of stuff with me (pillow, blanket, bag, activities for the girls, food) and so the girls would all want to carry something for me. We would then walk to their little building , where there are 2 rooms us missionary gals sleep in.

We would dump everything in there and then play until it got dark. I loved just sitting with them and listening to them laugh and let them play with my hair and sit on my lap.

In the evening, the older girls would help Mama (staff mother) cook dinner in one pot over the fire. We usually had rice and beans and I would dish it out in their tin bowls. They would come to me one at a time and after I served them, they would do a little curtsy, a cultural sign of respect. Then we would all sit on the floor and eat rice and beans (I usually just ate a little and then had a snack in my room later :). I loved how, when they finished eating, one by one they would say 'Thank you, Aunty', 'Thank you, Mama', curtsying to us as they do so. Very cute!! By that time it would be dark, so we'd gather in a little room they called the 'Parlor', to play games.

When bedtime came, we all went into their room, where they climbed into their bunkbeds. The little ones slept two by two (their choice and Oh, so adorable!). We all would cover our heads with a headtie before our nightly devotional (a cultural sign of respect to God). Then one of the girls would lead us in some songs (their voices are so beautiful). I would share from the Bible and they would share their memory verses and then we all prayed. A wonderful result of our time together - one of the first times I was out there, I encouraged the girls to pray about having a friend at school who they can encourage and even witness to. Over the months, the girls would show me letters their new friends had written to them, they shared how they prayed with their friends, and even a few girls witnessed to their M friends!

God really loves every single person all over the world and will use whomever is willing to share about His love! After devotions, I would tuck each of them in and kiss each of them on the forehead before leaving their room.

As part of the Nigerian Christian culture, we would wake up at 6am and have devotions again (well, the church bell would ring at 5am to combat the M call the prayer at the other end of the village - so that always woke us up first!) It was so precious and a wonderful way to start the day. After this, the girls would get busy sweeping the compound (swept dirt really does look better), making their beds, and then would run to the bathing building (made of concrete). They would line up and Mama Sati would scrub the little ones down from head to toe. The would just crouch down and let her have at them - it was adorable! The water had been warmed over the fire and was put into buckets and carried to the bath house. After a girl was finished, she would run back, dripping wet, with a towel wrapped around her and wait in the parlor until all of the were in there. Then they would start putting Vaseline all over each other's body's! This actually really keeps their skin beautiful and all Nigerians do this. After that we got them all ready for school and sent them off.

Here's a pic of the 'original 10', plus a staff child. The girls center opened Dec. 2006. The ministry decided to care for the first group of 10 for a long time before adding more. Of course, there are many more orphans and abused children in the Jos area, but we really wanted to go slowly so that we cared for each girl properly and thoughtfully. Right after I left, 3 new girls were added. I wish I could be there, but I know that many are praying for them. I've been blessed to see how many people love these precious girls who live in a village in Nigeria. In the above picture, a 90+ year old woman handmade the hats, each taking 8 hours! Other people have shown love by sending letters and funding projects. One team brought Crocs for all the kids! A perfect shoe to have in a village climate.

Loving the children in our ministry (almost 400 of them total!) is definitely a team effort and requires lots of hands and hearts to thrive. Although I miss these precious girls, I know the Lord will provide for their every need.

Suffering and Surrender

2008-07-10T13:19:00.012-05:00

My mind is always going a mile a minute. It seems I am constantly thinking about Nigeria, the differences of life in America, the blessings I have, the pain I am feeling (physical and emotional), frustration, grief (missing Nigeria SO much), gratitude for all the love and support from family, friends and supporters, anger at being limited physically, joy when playing cards with my mom or having a good chat with my dad, laughter with my brother who makes funny comments with a smirk.... My prayers have consisted of tears, thanksgiving, questions, anger, asking for help to surrender, to trust, to obey, to listen to His voice... but God has not been speaking to me in ways I sometimes hope (I want Him to tell me what is next in my life and what to expect). However, He keeps asking me/telling me to surrender. At first I was like - hello, I did surrender! You plead for workers for the harvest, and I went and I love it and I am desperate to go back. How prideful of me.

But He has gently been teaching me over the past few months that it really is a daily surrender - I now understand Hebrews 13:5 - a sacrifice of praise - trusting and praising Him even if I don't feel like it and that it is to be daily (Romans 12).

A year ago a friend told me about a book, 'Hinds Feet on High Places'. When I was on my way home in April, God told me to read the book. I dragged my feet (because I figured whatever He wanted to teach me from it would require obedience :0) because once He speaks, you gotta respond.)....., but finally ordered it. I am so glad I did.

It is an allegory about a character 'Much Afraid' who has two traveling companions 'Sorrow' and 'Suffering'. (hmmm) They are on a journey to get to the High Places, where the Shepherd lives and promises joy and freedom. They face many obstacles, including traveling through a desert, with the High Places out of sight.

When they reach the desert, Much Afraid cries out to the Shepherd, "You really mean that I am to follow that path down and down into that wilderness and then over that desert, away from the mountains indefinitely? Why ( and there was a sob of anguish in her voice ) it may be months, even years before that path leads me back to the mountains again. O Shepherd, do You mean it is indefinite postponement?'

The Shepherd replied 'It is only postponement for the best to become possible... Do you love Me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise and go down there with me into the desert?'

He was leading her away from her heart's desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when He would bring her back.

Much Afraid replied with tears and trembling, "Even if You cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with You, for You know that I do love You, and You have the right to choose for me anything that You please." pgs 109,110

The last couple months have been a roller coaster of emotions, as various people offer their advice about what decision I should make regarding living in Nigeria. At first, and at times still do, I blocked them out because they were not saying what I wanted to hear.

But as I pray, read the Word and this book, I am constantly convicted that I need to trust the Lord. I don't know what He wants yet, in regards to my living in Nigeria. But I do know what He requires of me now, and I pray He gives me the strength to obey.

Here are a few quotes in the accompanying devotion that have jumped out at me:

"One way to suffer is to have what you do not want, and want what you do not have."pg.113

"If we hold anything to ourselves, refusing to give it to Jesus, or if we do not obey a request He makes of us, then that has blocked His voice to us. We need to give those things to Him and get back into His companionship."pg.119

"He will never waste our sorrows... Let me never be found resisting what you are birthing or bringing forth in me."pg.117

One day at a time, right? That's what He commands of us. Thank goodness.

Praises overflow

2008-06-13T17:56:00.004-05:00

So much has happened since my last blog. I am still processing the past month and wanted to wait until I figured it all out before I blogged - but that would mean I would probably not blog for awhile! Reflection brings rejoicing......

Praise #1 - God used my leaders in Nigeria to tell me to come back to Texas for rest and medical check ups. Within one week of arriving in Texas, my right lung collapsed! A chest tube was placed, to help reinflate the lung, and I spent two nights in the hospital. If my lung would have collapsed in Nigeria, it could have been extremely serious. Since the medical care in Nigeria is not up to speed, I would've needed to be medically evacuated. But, flying is dangerous when you have lung issues, because of the altitude problems. So, I may have had to have a chest tube placed by a med-evac team and flown on a special 'medical plane.' Also, the insurance company could have insisted that I be sent to London or to South Africa for medical care - which they have been known to do in past missionary evacuations - since those places are closer than the States. Whenever I feel down, I remember back to how God rescued me and brought me home to my parents and to great medical care here in Texas, just 15 min from my parents house.

Praise #2 - After spending those 2 nights in the hospital, I was taking it easy. A couple weeks later I was finally feeling 'normal' and was able to get out of the house. I was super excited about a trip to Houston on Memorial Day weekend to visit the Anthis and Rothchild families - dear friends who spent time in Nigeria. But on Thursday I started feeling weird and that something was not right. (When my lung collapsed a couple weeks prior, I just had some pain and a little difficulty breathing - but nothing major. So I was not sure what to expect as far as symptoms went - but the doctor told me that it was possible that my lung would collapse again.) When I woke up on Friday and had pain in my lung and decreased energy, I called the clinic and went in for a chest x ray and to see the doctor. I almost did not make the call, because I really wanted to go to Houston. But then I realized that would be pretty selfish and quite a hassle to get to Houston and not be able to breathe. When the doctor showed me my xray, I could see immediately that my lung had collapsed again and I just started crying. The last chest tube was so painful and I also knew that now I was going to need to have surgery. It was overwhelming and I just cried for God to help me. The nurses and doctors remembered my painful experience from the last chest tube, so they gave me a lot more pain medicine, which was a huge blessing. Praise God that I was not stubborn and that I went in to see the doctor that morning. Cindy Anthis and one of her daughters actually drove from Houston to see me the next day. She thanked me for 'keeping my drama local.' :)

Praise #3 - I had to wait a few days for my lung to inflate before I could have surgery. From day one of being in the hospital, I was so encouraged by the people who took the time to come and visit me and send me flowers. Now that I have been blessed in these ways, I know how much a bouquet of flowers or a bedside prayer lifts up the heart. People came in from out of town and a couple precious ladies came from Rockwall and sat with my mom when I was in the recovery room. My family and I were just amazed by how many people showed love by visiting me during my two week hospital stay. And all the cards in the mail! Postal mail really shows effort and love - so many times in the past I have intended to send a card or note to someone - all the cards I have received have blessed me so much, that I hope it helps me to follow up on those intentions in the future!

Praise #4 - The first night after my surgery, God's presence was so strong in my room. I can only explain it as intense peace and joy - I did not even want to sleep because I did not want to miss out! I'm telling you, I had spontaneous smiles and was just in complete comfort that night.

Praise #5 - All the prayers of the saints. Never before have I felt so carried by prayer as I have these past few weeks. In my weakness, pain, and suffering - God's children have held me up and carried me through their prayers. One of my friends from Nigeria called and told me that all the staff and kids in the ministry fasted and prayed for me for 24 hours. Wow. Major answered prayer was that I had great nursing care and an overall positive experience in the hospital. I did not even want to leave the hospital until the day that the doctor said I could be discharged.

Praise #6 - Today I went to see the surgeon for an xray and to get my stitches removed. Everything looks good. Yeah! I am still having a bit of pain, but the pain meds are helping.

There is so much more to share. So many things the Lord is showing me on this journey. For now, I can say that I know He is good. I know He loves me. I know He loves the children in Nigeria and He is taking care of them. I can trust Him and know that this is all about Him, all for Him and for His glory. May He receive praise and adoration!

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Favorite Things and Reflections

2008-04-29T12:35:00.012-05:00

I have been in Texas for a week now. Some of my favorite things from the past week:

~ Jalisco's salsa - the Texas folks will know what I am talking about.

~ sleeping in - it is so quiet here. My house in Nigeria is on a loud compound. Outside my bedroom window is the front gate to the compound, so if I tried to rest during the day, I heard everything and everyone coming in. Plus my dogs barking and the phone always ringing. I joked with the gaurd one day saying "Peter, at 6am, you are really loud and it sounds like you are right in my bedroom! Peter, I really don't like waking up and thinking you are in my room." That made him laugh and he got the point and he is no longer my alarm clock.

~ American Idol. Yeah, I am a junkie.

~ Green grass. Everything is Soooo green in Texas now. I love it! In Nigeria, everything is pretty brown because we are at the end of the 6 months of no rain.

~ Front porch. My parents have a porch that looks over their nice front yard. I love to sit out there and just think and pray and just BE.

~ Anonymity. In Nigeria, white folks are kinda obvious and so people watch everything you do. When it gets annoying, I try to pretend I am a celebrity and that kinda makes it funny. Is definitely a good accountability thing. BUT I enjoyed walking through Target the other day and no one even turned their head to look at me.

~ Twinkie, my faithful dog. I walked into the house from the airport and there she was, whining and jumping around and licking me! I had not seen her for a year, but she knows who her mama is!

~ Shopping. Yeah, I love to shop. I love shopping in Nigeria. But here, it is so easy! No one is shouting out 'baturiya' (white woman), or begging you to shop in their stall. And all the prices are set here in America. I mean, I can't go up to the gal at Target and say "Hey, I know the price on this shirt says it is $15, but how about I give you $8?" That's one thing I love/hate about shopping in Nigeria. You definitely have to be in the mood.

A few days before I left Jos, I was shopping and the guy told me the thing was going to cost $45. I guffawed at him and said "Look, I may look like a white person, but I am really Nigerian and I know the price. So please don't try that." I got him down to $14. :)

The list goes on and on...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am really thankful to be home because I have been sick the whole time since I arrived. The two weeks before I left Nigeria, I was feeling really great, so I was like, hey, I don't need to go home. But, not the case. Last week I saw an internal med doctor and she caught a couple infections and got me on antibiotics. Tomorrow I will see my pulmonologist and on Thursday, the infectious disease doctor.

I feel very loved and carried by God during this time of the unknown. Faith really is being sure of what you don't see. I can't see very far. But, as a good friend told me the other day, just keep walking forward. My dad reminded me that God never demotes anyone. He is always out to promote His children to the next level that He has for their lives.

Yesterday, the Lord met with me as I sat on the porch with my coffee. He said that I should pray for complete physical healing and He may choose to answer that. But the prayer that He will DEFINITELY answer is the restoration of my soul.

Praise Him.

Taking off....

2008-04-18T06:20:00.003-05:00

I would love to post pics and tell stories, but the reality is my time is taken up these days with preparing to leave on Sunday, April 20th, for a 2 month rest and recuperation time in the States.

Coming under authority with respect and thanksgiving is a key thing the Lord has been working with me on the past couple years. So, when I was in a bind and did not know what to do... God's voice clearly came through and told me to go to my leaders here in Nigeria. So, I went to my supervisor, missionary doc, and personnel director.

They all said the same thing. I need to go to the States to rest and to get some medical check-ups. Maybe all the sickness I have had this past year since I returned to Nigeria is nothing more than just random sickness. Or maybe it is more. So, to rule out some crazy disease on top of the one I already have in my lungs, I will be seeing my pulmonologist, an internal medicine doc, and maybe a tropical disease doctor.

So the past couple weeks have been busy busy with preparations to go. I have been madly checking off things from my to-do list, trying to get all the centers a-ok with medical and nutritional stuff before I leave.

There is much more to say, but time is not on my side (as we say here).

I will be in touch, once I get settled into Texas next week.

In Sickness and in Health...

2008-03-24T08:03:00.004-05:00

Nope, am not married or even close to it.... but this is how I have been feeling regarding my second term in Nigeria. I have been sick on and off since I returned last April, 11 months ago from today. My immune system has been shot from a crazy lung disease I picked up a couple years ago, making me susceptable to other things.

I had to stay home again today (4th day) bc this laryngitis has kicked my tail. I am able to talk now, thankfully. But the coughing is exhausting me and I think that may be more my lung thing acting up now, not the laryngitis. I am getting frustrated by the up and down health thing. Can you please pray for me?

I am working this whole thing through with God. What more can I do for myself that I am not already doing? What should I take away/add? Adding can be a good thing, if I am missing something. How does God view sickness and service? I know He says in Psalm 40 (and many other places) that He is not looking for sacrifices or burnt offerings? but just me. But then how does that compute when so many Christians all over the world are much worse off than me, but God has them that way for a reason and for a purpose? and many of them keep pressing on. Is
it giving up to step back and take care of my body? I know God will not love me any less. He finally got that through my thick skull. But now I am working through how much is too much? where faith and trust collide with reason and common sense?

I know I am vulnerable right now, bc I have spent most of the past 2 weeks sick (had giardia before this laryngitis). And in this state, I don't have much compassion for others or a desire to serve when I have a coughing fit every 10 min. Sigh. Thank God He loves me no matter what!

So, that's where I am at the moment. Not too pretty. But am working it through with the Lord and am in constant communication with Him. This I DO know is what He wants and desires, so will keep it up til He answers ;)

Allah ya kara mani sauki = May God increase my strength

Last Friday...

2008-03-10T12:12:00.005-05:00

(This is perhaps my longest blog ever. So grab a cup o joe and read on about a day in the life...)

I had shared on my March Prayer Calendar that the father of two of our boys, Stephen (15yrs) and Matthew (13yrs), was dying of liver failure. Three weeks ago, a co-worker and I visited him in his home. I asked him that when he dies, what will he tell God is the reason he should be allowed into heaven. His answer was "Only God knows." We shared with him about the grace of Jesus and even though he was an alcoholic for years and he neglected his kids, that God will still accept him. That day, the angels rejoiced as Felix received God's love and grace!!!

Felix passed away last Thursday.

Last Friday was an all-day affair with the family of Matthew and Stephen. It was so totally Nigerian in all aspects. My friend and co-worker, Alex, went to the boys home in the morning at 7am to meet with the eldest uncle (bro of deceased) bc he is to make all the decisions. Only to find out that they were waiting for an even older male relation to show up. So Alex returned to Transition House and he called me to meet with him and Elisha (supervisor) to decide what our role should be in all of this. We needed to find a vehicle to carry the body, first of all. They asked if I would be willing to carry it in my truck and I said no way jose! So we sent a staff to the hosptial to see if we could rent their 'ambulance'. Then we called around looking for another vehicle that we knew we would need to haul the family to the burial.

So we got confirmation that the ambulance was available. Alex and I, with some other staff, headed to the boys home. We got there and a group of about 15 people were sitting outside and in the midst of them was a very old man. Come to find out that he is the elder of the family, yet Matthew and Stephen have never even met him before! Yet, he is the one to make all the decisions. Apparently this happens a lot - at weddings and funerals - that relatives just show up to make decisions and maybe even get money (at weddings). So this 80 yr old man is supposed to be making decisions. But it is now 11am and they have not even decided where Baba is going to be buried. So the male staff head off to find something to eat while I sit with Matthew and all the mamas, watching life go on around us.

Some time later another uncle and the pastor show up and get in a heated discussion with the Baba bc he is just sitting on his toosh and not doing anything and here we are with 3 vehicles, 10 staff, and ready to help but cannot make any decisions for them. It should be noted that the hospital does not have a refrigerator or whatever they are supposed to have for corpses, so the body is laying in a room, in a very hot place. So, you can imagine what is happening to the body. SO when Baba suggests we wait til the next day, the uproar (ladies included) caused a scene. Although Stephen is the oldest son of his father, he is not old enough to be able to make decisions.

Elisha comes back from eating and the pastor pulls Elisha and me aside and says that the family has not even started building a casket for the body (by this time it is about 2pm). I am getting frustrated bc they are really taking no responsibility at all. But I also realize that the dad had been an alcoholic for years and this had taken a toll on the family, so perhaps they just felt like they did not need to help or give a proper burial. So, for the boys sake, we said that the minsitry would provide the casket. So off Elisha and Alex go to find a builder. By this point I was really hungry, so Stephen, Matthew and Uncle Ade and I wondered off to find a hole in the wall restaurant to eat some good food and down a bottle of Coke. The boys were at peace and were really amazing. They joked a little, although it was obvious their hearts were heavy.

So we return to the house. By then they had decided where to bury the body and some men had gone off to start digging. Now I need to say that this whole time the cell phone network had been down, so no one could call anyone. That just added to the whole thing. Once we get back to the house we wonder what we are to do next. Two staff decide to head to the hospital to see if Elisha and Alex had shown up with a casket. However, the family left with us had no idea where the burial site was. So we waited til the older brother showed up and then we piled in my truck to head to the hospital. Because now, Stephen and Matthew were supposed to clean the body and dress it!

So we show up at the hospital around 5pm and thankfully the guy was around to open the door to the hot room. By this time we had accumulated about 7 male staff, so they went in with the boys and did their thing. I cannot even imagine how that must have been. I kept getting teary eyed. Then Mama of the father went in to view his body and came out wailing so then I lost it a bit. But that's ok. However, the boys came out dry eyed - what IS it with men all over the world??

The casket was put in the ambulance and we followed it through town back near where Stephen and Matthew live. But then turned down a really rocky road. The road ended so we all got out and I just started trekking down the hilly path with Matthew and some of the women. It kept going and going and sure enough, I looked back to see that the casket and men had not followed us. So we waited at this place overlooking the valley, which is apparently a graveyard of sorts, tho you would never have guess it. The ambulance showed up about 40 min later, having found a different road.

Then they carried the casket down the rocky hill to the site, where the short service was done. Again, Aunty Erin started crying when Matthew gave a short speech about his dad and then the boys threw dirt on the casket.

Walking back to the car Matthew told me that I should not cry because he will see his father again. And one of the women said I need to be strong for the boys. Hogwash. That is one of the most frustrating parts of this culture - the lack of understanding the need to grieve and express emotions in a healthy way. Somehow they (and other Christians in the world) feel that crying shows lack of faith.

The day finally ended around 7pm. I thought. But then I got called to the hospital bc one of our boys had broken his arm playing soccer. Well I got him sorted out and finally went home, exhausted.

A day in the life.

(I said in the beginning that the day was very Nigerian. What I meant was that, due to poverty, most people cannot plan ahead because there is no money to plan with. They survive hand-to-mouth. To Americans, it may seem crazy that the family did not have any plans for when Felix died. This is because they are a very poor family and just hope they will get food for each day. )

Allah ya ba mu karfi! - May God give us strength!

More pics from reconciliation of boys!

2008-02-15T09:24:00.003-06:00

These four boys(Emmanuel, Emmanuel, Moses and Danladi) were all taken back the their families. They live in the same village and already had plans to meet with each other the day after we left them. :)

About 4 years ago, Moses was involved in some satanic things, which put his life in danger. This is the reason City Ministries took him in. Moses is a new creation and was really welcomed back into the family and community last week. Only God can do that.

Moses and his mother!

Each time we took a boy home, Elisha (our supervisor, on the right), explained to the family and neighbors the reason the boy is able to go back to his family. He also explained how the ministry will assist for some time, but that the real responsibility lies on the family and the community to raise the child.

Linus and me. Oh, I love this dear boy and will really miss him. BUT - look how happy he is! When we drove up to his house, his mother came running up to the car and embraced him in a way only a mother can. His life is a testimony of power, grace and freedom, as he was once a child of the enemy through witchcraft. Now, he serves his Savior and King, Jesus Christ.

Father God, take these children and use them mightily in their homes, schools and communities. Protect them from the attacks of the enemy that are sure to come, since they used to belong to him, but now are in the Lord's army. Equip them to fight the battles and to resist temptations. I pray, Lord, that you will protect them mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. They are Yours and I know You love them and hold them close to Your heart and will never let them go. We commit them to You. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

New lives have begun for 38 boys!!!

2008-02-13T13:33:00.012-06:00

A few months ago, we started to re evaluate what we were doing and who we were serving , as we had grown rapidly over the last few years. We discovered that many of the children have some family and we also looked into those who had been delivered from Occultic practices for several years to see whether they could be reconciled back into their communities. We realize it is far better in this culture if a child grows up with his family as the family and extended family unit is very strong here.

Some kids in a village where some of our boys now live.

As a part of this process, we sent home for Christmas about 100 of our boys, and the staff visited them to assess their situations . Many families stated that they had seen positive changes in their children , their behavior and their attitudes had greatly improved. Many were pleased to have them back. In some cases, though, it was confirmed that the boy needs to stay with us. We want to exist as a ministry to help those children who have no one to help them and to train and disciple them so they can function well in their society.

Some of the older ones we realize need to learn a trade alongside their education , so they can start to be independent when they leave school. So we have sent some to a Technical Boarding school and they will come back to us or family in the holidays. As a ministry we are committed to help with school fees as long as we can so the children's education does not stop, but this expensive and we continue to rely on money being brought in by God.

Last week was one of the best weeks and most difficult weeks. I have been processing a lot of emotions with all the changes we are facing. Good changes, but hard on the heart, too.

On Tuesday we took 10 to boarding school as you can see from the picture above, this was quite an undertaking as they have to go with lots of stuff.... they were excited and nervous at the same time and we were all quite emotional as we left them. We pray they will settle well and make good friends and that God protects them.

Then on Wed and Thurs we drove around several villages, taking boys to their family members. We caused quite a stir turning up in small communities with two jeeps, a car, and a minibus loaded with mattresses, bags, etc..but we took all the boys together who were in going home in the same area to see where each other lived. We greeted the families and prayed with them as we left their children with them. Mothers were crying, along with us Aunties as we gave back boys.

Daniel's father was waiting for him on front porch. A very powerful reunion. The local pastor observed Daniel's changed live when he visited over Christmas. He has invited Daniel to serve in the church.

It was awesome to see why the ministry exists happening before your very own eyes...boys whose lives had been turned around by God and who could now go home....We hope many more will follow in these first ones steps. We (staff) will be visiting each boy (in home or at school) on a regular basis to see how they are doing.

Here is a picture of Ayuba and Solomon re united with their Dad. He was so happy to see his boys back after being with us for 5 years after their mother died. He has built new rooms for them and has prepared farm land for them to be able to work and grow food. The eldest, Joseph, was among the boys who went to boarding school. During holidays, he will live with his dad and bros.

As we leave these precious children in school or in their communities we have to trust that God will look after them and that He knows the plans for their future. They were His children before they were ever ours and He knows them all by name......please pray for them as they adjust to new lifestyles.

(my pal and co-worker Nicky wrote this blog for her own update, so I figured why write another one! Thanks, Nicky. To my credit, I did at least add the pics.)

2008-01-30T13:04:00.000-06:00

PS -
You'll notice in the pic below that Miracle and I are bundled up. It has been COLD here! In the high 40's at night. Seriously. And we have no heaters, folks. I like it, for the most part, cuz I get to wear some clothes that otherwise stay in my closet. ;)

Miracle Baby

2008-01-28T11:29:00.000-06:00

My Nigerian parents, Reverand Haruna and 'Mommy', took care of Friday, their nephew, for seven years. Just recently Friday died from a sudden sickness at age 12, which devastated Rev. and Mommy. However, God was so good. The day before Friday passed, Mommy was at work at the community health clinic, where she stays for a few nights at a time, since it is outside of Jos. Someone brought in a newborn baby with her umbilical cord still attached. The baby had been abandoned and covered with sand. She was discovered because a dog was biting on her umbilical cord and she began to cry. The mother of the baby, of course, was nowhere to be found. The police interviewed different women in the neighborhood and decided that Mommy was the best candidate to look after the baby while they tried to find her mother. Mommy was caring for her when she received the news that Friday had died. So Mommy bundled her up and took her home with her.

Two months have passed and Miracle continues to bring happiness and God's love into their home. They see how the Lord was so good to them and His timing was just incredible, giving Miracle to them the day before Friday passed. Rev and Mommy have been wanting to have another baby (have 2 older children), but it has not been possible. They are working on formally adopting her.

This picture was taken on Sunday, Miracle's 2 month birthday. She was dedicated at church, which is why she has some eye makeup on - something the Nigerians put on baby girls for special occasions.

Allah ya ba mu godiya kowace rana. Ku kwallo masu! = God gives us blessings every day! Watch for them!

Whew

2008-01-09T12:50:00.000-06:00

Whew - we made it. The past month for me, as for many of you I am sure, was a whirlwind of parties, guests, food, music, work, traveling, kids, kids and more kids. It was one of my favorite Christmas' EVER. Dee and Tilly came from Chicago and we had a blast being together and spending every waking moment with our boys and girls. Many of our boys went to a relatives house for Christmas (as part of our reconciliation process - getting kids back into a home environment), but many kiddos were 'left behind'. So we took it upon ourselves to shower love onto them. I will post pics soon.

ALSO, I turned the big 3-0 on January 5th!! I was not so sure how I would feel about leaving the 20's behind, but now I am feeling comfortable with this new season in my life. A few people have reminded me that Jesus started his ministry when He was 30 - my first thought is - HOW did He live so long without sin? Second thought - WHY would He leave heaven to spend such a long time on earth? 100% man. 100% God. Cannot wrap my head around it. But, thank You, Jesus.

Update - Ladi, the young woman in a recent blog of mine, returned to her family in the village on Christmas day!! She is recovering well and Gay Lynn and I hope to visit her next week. Again, pics to come....

Holiday Hike

2007-12-23T16:42:00.000-06:00

Early morning picnic with the girls. How early? Well, the village church bell rings at 5am. Then the dog starts to bark. So after some dozing, it is time to get up for 6am devotions with the girls. Yep, these girls have devotions together every morning. That is part of the Christian culture in Nigeria. When the lesson has been taught and prayers have been said, the girls come and curtsy in front of me and whatever other leader is present and say "Good morning, Aunty". That is the point when I start to wake up :) I will never tire of being called Aunty. Love it.

So Nicky has this fantastic idea to pack our bags with food and take the girls hiking. Now, Aunty Erin loves this kind of thing, but my lungs have not been in top shape recently. But I said, if 5 year old Faith is going, I am going. Plus I miss wearing pants and this was a great excuse to wear them! (Have to wear skirts all the time otherwise).

Faith insisted on carrying this backpack, for about ten minutes. Check
out the diva pose. The crocs (shoes) were a great gift to the kids by a visiting team.

Yeah, this picture is pretty cool. We are in dry season now, obviously.

Faith and I decided to stick together during this
hike. I ended up carrying her quite a bit. Funny
how Nicky, whose great idea it was to do this,
never carried her... hmm....

So we get to the top and are eating our snacks and I said to Nicky, "That was great! Halfway done." She died laughing and said, "Oh no! We still have lots more ahead!"Folks, I had a great time and these pics to boot, but dang I was feeling old.

Farmland - handmade borders dug by the owners.

The green trees that look like are painted in are Mango trees.

I just get a kick out of the beauty and vividness of God's creations. And I love how the bottom of the leaves and branches go across in a straight line.

Other News - Dee and Tilly arrived from Chicago today! They will be staying with me until they leave on the 1st. I am so blessed to have friends who love me and the kids so much to spend Christmas with us!

Merry Christmas from Nigeria !!!!!

Helping Ladi

2007-12-08T14:17:00.000-06:00

Last week, GayLynn and I went out to a village to visit Ladi. She is a niece of one of our good friends, Danjuma, and she recently fell into a fire during a seizure. She has a history of seizures and the family believes that when a seizure happens, that she is possessed by demons. So, they concluded that medicine cannot help her. Now, I do believe that Satan can manifest himself in a seizure, but the most likely reason for seizures over a long period of time would be epilepsy.

Soon after she was burned, Danjuma went the village, pleading them to bring her into Jos for medical treatment, but they refused. GayLynn and I were really burdened for her, so we decided to travel there (about an hour away) and see if God would use us. GayLynn is an occupational therapist and has cared for many burn patients whose joints have been affected, so I was really glad she was there.

When we got there, Ladi was sitting in the doorway of the mud house, without a shirt on and flies buzzing all around her. GayLynn and I realized that it was not lack of love from the family, but lack of education. We spent time explaining to them all the reasons she really needed medical attention. God showed us favor, and His love for Ladi, and the parents agreed that she could come for help. This is a big commitment for her mom, as she has to stay with Ladi in the hospital. In Nigeria, each patient must have a family member present at all times to cook, to clean the patient, and care for them.

Ladi's wounds have been cleaned and GayLynn is working on helping Ladi to straighten her arms and fingers. Ladi's mind has been affected, perhaps by all the seizures, and so she has not been too cooperative. Please pray that she will understand the need to receive help. She looks young, but she has a one year old son waiting in the village for her.

2007-12-07T11:56:00.000-06:00

This is the correct address to check out the pics!

http://webmissions.net/erinrigsby/media.htm

NEW PICS POSTED!!!

2007-12-06T13:47:00.000-06:00

I spent hours getting all these new pics posted. So you have to look at them, ok?

The internet here in Nigeria has much to be desired, but I am still grateful because it allows me to share with you what's going on in my life.

Check 'em out at:

http://webmissions.net/erinrigsby/media.htm

2007-11-29T16:17:00.000-06:00

On Tuesday I went to see the girls. I had not seen them in almost three weeks, due to my trip to Israel. When I pulled up, most of them were waiting for me and chanting "Aunty Erin, Aunty Erin" and tackled me as a I got out of the truck. I was told later that one of them even cried, she was so happy I am back. Crazy, huh, I mean, I am here to bless them and BAM they bless my socks off with their welcome!

Before I went to Israel, I met with them and encouraged them to look for a girl at school who needs a friend. On Tuesday, Kyauta runs up to me, holding a tattered letter. 'Aunty, this is from my friend.' Kyauta had befriended this girl, Veronica, and now they are friends! The tattered shape of the letter told me that this is a treasured possession for Kyauta. Three other girls alsoshowed me notes from their friends. :)

Faith, the cutie on the left of this pic, has a Muslim friend at school. At five years old, God can and will use the faith of a child!

Promise - Israel pics are coming!

Love from Israel

2007-11-19T12:44:00.000-06:00

Tonight is my last night in Israel. It has been quite a ride in this Holy Land. God has rocked my world and taken me to a deeper understanding of His covenant love for me. I am just beginning to grasp how much He desperately loves me and passionately and jealously desires ALL of me. Every last dirty bit.

Selah.

I am excited to get back to my kids in Nigeria and pour out His love that He has poured into me.

More to come....

Shalom.

Birthdays and Braids

2007-10-31T15:50:00.000-05:00

It is common for people in Nigeria to not know their birthdays. I have not completely figured out why - but one reason is that most families do not have money to celebrate birthdays and so, over the years, the actual date is forgotten. Because of the difficult backgrounds of many of our children, they do not know their birthdays. SO - the Crazy Texas Team, who come every October, started an annual tradition awhile back of having a general birthday party for all the kids. The team throws a party for the kids, complete with cake, ice cream and gifts.

Our girls were so delighted with their gift bags

Cutting of the Cake (look at the girls happy faces)

I also recently had my hair 'plaited', as we say here. I asked two of my Nigerian neighbors to do it for me. Because white folks hair is so silky, attachments have to be braided into the real hair so that the braids will last. It only took 4 hours! I say 'only' because I once had it done with really small, tight braids and it took 13 hours - for real. These mug shots are just so you can see the final product. :) I kept the braids in for two weeks.

The Other Kind of Tree

2007-10-04T15:29:00.000-05:00

My last entry was about the planting of my tree in Gyero. The baby tree is struggling, thanks to the village goats who come by and eat the leaves. The girls assured me that they are chasing away the goats anytime they see them coming.

I just have to share with you about another kind of tree in Gyero. First, I have to say that lots of folks say the word s**t instead of 'poop' or '#2', as we say in the States. Not sure why, but that is how it is and it is acceptable. So, the other day Nicky was walking with a kid in the village and they were looking for a place to sit down. She saw a tree and said they should sit under it. "No Aunty!," the boy replied, 'that is the s**t tree!!!" Apparently, lots of kids do their business under the tree! :) And you can bet there is lots of grass growing under it, too.

Oh, village life. Nigerian life. I still find myself thinking 'is this for real?' or 'pinch me' - even after almost four years!

Aunty Erin's Tree

2007-09-29T12:59:00.000-05:00

The staff and kids in Gyero, our rural Care Center, recently came up with the idea of planting a tree in honor of each missionary serving them. Last week it was Aunty Erin's turn to have her tree planting ceremony. :)

Baba Sati, one of the leaders, had a few baby trees for me to pick from and I told him that I wanted one that would provide a lot of shade in the years to come. The girls ended up picking an avocado tree, which I think is very fitting, since this Texas gal loves her guacamole!

I am so blessed, so happy, so fulfilled. In the midst of challenges, heartache, cultural differences, and feelings of complete inadequacy, the Lord's joy surrounds me. Do I really get to live here? Is this really my life? I am so thankful, Father, for the honor to serve You and to serve your beautiful children in Nigeria. May YOU receive all the praise, all the glory, all the adoration. May YOUR name be lifted up. It is all about You, because of You and for You.

Tidbits

2007-09-14T16:28:00.000-05:00

Tidbits from the past week:
1) Bad news - my computer crashed and burned on hursday evening. Good news - I did not freak out! Ok, so am a little anxious, but nowhere NEAR how I would have responded before coming to Nigeria. Life here is always full of surprises and setbacks and either you gotta go with the flow or die. :) Pray for Dan, The Computer Man, to wiggle his fingers and heal my computer.

2) I was interviewed by a missionary in Mexico, via the phone, and it is now posted on the website http://www.missionarytalks.com/ A great tool to spread the Word!

3) One of our boys, 12 yr old Augustine, fell yesterday. I thought he needed stitches, so I called our new missionary doc, Dr. Don. He is my 'on call' doctor now, and I am thrilled! So we went to Dr. Don's house and Augustine was shaking, he was so afraid about the stitches. At camp they memorized Joshua 1:9, so he and I said it out loud together: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Within a minute, his shaking stopped. :)

4) I started Hausa studies, AGAIN, with two lovely Nigerian ladies. It is 2 hrs each afternoon and boy, am I tired after class. But, God really convicted me that I need to get fluent in Hausa, to show the Nigerians love and respect. I am not very disciplined in this area, but am determined to learn.

"Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it". James 4:17

God bless you guys, ER

2007-09-07T09:26:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday I went to Abuja, the capitol of Nigeria. It is reported to be the fastest growing city in Africa. Yep, the fastest in the whole continent! Wow. I noticed a lot of changes since I was last there in July 2006. Nigeria is actually a rich country in resources and this is reflected in the modern buildings and city structures in Abuja.

Thanks to some supporters gifts, I was able to spend a couple days in a nice hotel, relaxing and sleeping a lot. I really enjoyed it, yet part of me struggled with all the wealth I was seeing. I did not feel guilty for my own ability to relax. However, it was difficult to see that there is such wealth here and yet, only for a select few. Since I work with the poor on a daily basis, I guess it just stands out more.

BUT - I am so thankful for the rest and the ability to not be available to anyone, even if just for a couple days!!! :)

GREAT NEWS - I picked up my dear friend Nicky from the airport today! In 2005, Nicky came to spend a year in Jos. At then end of her time, though, she realized that God was asking her to return as a long-term missionary. And now she has!!! I am really blessed by her friendship. I am constantly learning from her and seeing God through her.

2007-08-30T17:33:00.000-05:00

"Aunty, I have seen the world, but I have never be out in the world," Alheri said.

Selah (contemplate)

Today I was with my little princesses. They love to hear stories, so I shared with them about how God took me to Zimbabwe and to China before He brought me to Nigeria. As I shared, I realized that they did not have a clue how to picture where I was talking about. I told them I will bring a map of the world so that they can understand.

All they know is what they have seen. Like most of us, whatever is in front of them is what they focus on. But if that is how we live, are we really living? And yet, if we don't see what is right in front of us, we will miss God at work.

Selah

The whole world is out there, crying, starving, hurting, unforgiving, performing, striving, trying.... dying.

So when Alheri said she has never been out in the world, it made me think. Today they were all dressed up because they were going on a field trip to the city. My eyes were opened to the fact that every day all they see is their little village, except for the occasional trip out.

Yes, dear girls, the world seems small, but there are many people in America who love you, who are praying for you - Alheri, specifically, is on the Prayer Calendar for tomorrow. Please pray for Alheri and the other girls, that they will learn how to love, how to trust, how to believe, how to hope.... and how to share this with others in their world.

2007-08-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

Moses was involved in the occult and his life was in danger. In Nigeria, if someone is in the Secret Society, then they may get possessed by evil and kill people. As a result, the people in Moses' village became afraid of him and threatened to kill him, so his mother brought him to Gidan Bege about 4 years ago. Moses is now a kind-hearted, patient, and obedient boy. He loves Jesus and wants to be a pastor when he grows up.

Yesterday he came to me because he really wants to see his mom. One of the boys, DanLadi, was going to visit his own mother and Moses wanted to join him, because they are in the same village. However, Moses' mom has said that his life is still in danger and that he cannot go and visit her right now. When Uncle Alex was explaining this to him, tears fell down his cheeks. Not being able to visit his mom? Because people are afraid of him? What? It is difficult to understand. And yet, that is reality for him.

He is now part of our family. Moses is loved by everyone and strives to follow Christ. But, a child needs his mother. Pray for us as we are the mothers and fathers to these precious children.

Seeking Him

2007-08-24T07:33:00.001-05:00

The Chicago Team from Moody Church left yesterday. We had an amazing two weeks together. God definitely hand-picked the six special folks that made up the team. Each of them brought unique gifts into the time with the boys, specifically during camp. I have posted 31 pics HERE .

The pics above are of us at the Miango Falls and of me sharing my testimony at Camp, with our theme verse in background - Psalm 139:23-24

Our older boys sometimes get the shaft, so to speak, because we have to 'dumb-down' things sometimes, to accomodate the younger ones who live in the Care Centers, too. Our goal at Camp was to dig deep into the Word with the boys, to expose them to intimate encounters with God. To facilitate this, each Chicago team member had a small group of boys that they met with three times a day during Camp. As they spent time going through the study "Seeking Him" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom, they addressed humility, obedience, honesty, repentance, and having a personal devotional life.

We saw immediately that the boys were clinging onto every word and were thirsty for more. This really shows us as leaders in the ministry how we need to improve on meeting the spiritual needs of all the boys, in creative and diligent ways.

I had never been a camp director before, so it was a new experience, but I loved it! I worked alongside Elisha and Bob, two Nigerian staff, and God really helped us to communicate well and to be a team all week.

I have more to share, but am also trying to catch up on a lot, so will stop here.

2007-08-18T15:09:00.000-05:00

There is nothing remotely spiritual about this blog today. It is camp-related, in a way, though. The amazing God stuff from camp will be posted soon, along with lots of pics.

Our camp was in Jos, the city I live in, so I just drove home every night. However, last night was the final night of camp and it is not safe to drive late at night here, so I opted to sleep in the house where the Nigerian staff were sleeping. I had assumed I would have a bed. Well, you know what assuming does to you. I found out too late that I was going to have to sleep on the floor. Now, I had a mattress, so you may ask why was this a problem? Well, I have stayed in this house before and I have seen the rats and mice that abide in the home. So sleeping on the floor was not cool, but it had to be done.

I wrapped my sheet all around me and even covered my head, thinking that this would protect me from Stuart Little and his giant friends. I was in that state of sleep when I was aware of my vulnerability, yet still trying to be asleep. Unfortunately, my foot escaped the safety and shelter of the sheet. And, yes, the rat rubbed against my foot and I was immediately awake and kicking like mad. I kept my eyes focused on the ceiling because I did not want to actually see my visitor. After a few seconds, I high-tailed it to the living room and crashed on the couch. Of course, sleep alluded me all night, for I was very aware of the presence of the visitors.

Still makes me squirm.

Mid-Camp

2007-08-15T17:25:00.000-05:00

Camp is halfway over!!! It has been incredible. The theme of the camp is "Joy of Personal Revival" Psalm 137:23-24 and we are using a study called "Seeking Him" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom. Because we have the older boys, we realize the need they have to dig deep into the Word. All 6 of the team members from Chicago have a small group that they do the study with. They have noticed, as I have in the past, that there are boys who are confused about eternal security, what is forgiveness and confession all about, etc. Please be praying for God's spirit to open eyes and surrender hearts.

The pics above show the ladies on the team chatting with the boys during free time and one of Victoria and me. My best idea of the camp was to hire a nurse to take care of the boys medical needs. As camp director, I have been able to focus on the many administration needs of the camp, thanks to Victoria.

Rest accomplished

2007-08-05T16:42:00.000-05:00

Many of you will be thrilled to hear that I rested this weekend. With the exception of church this morning, I was in my house in comfy clothes all weekend. For those of who do not know me - this is a victory and an answer to prayer that I am learning to rest. I even forced myself to lay down on the couch today, even though I was not tired. A few hours later, I woke up :)

I watched a couple movies, worked on my computer a lot (but still in comfy clothes, drinking coffee and listening to great music), visited with my neighbor and slept.

The calm before the storm. A good storm is coming our way. The Chicago Team from Moody Church arrives in Jos on Friday!!! I am really excited about this group of 6; two of them came with a previous team to Nigeria. Next Monday, Camp starts!!!!!!

Since 'my' team is hosting camp, that put me in charge of camp. Thankfully, we are doing the camp for the older kids and not the smaller ones, so that means less 'activity' times and more God times. The Jr boys are having camp, hosted by an Irish team and longterm Danish missionaries. More to come...

Below is a pic of Abner and me - many of you have heard about him and will be happy to hear that he just graduated from primary school! A precious couple in Colorado have 'adopted' him and want to send him to a private secondary school in September. An incredible opportunity for an incredible young man.

2007-07-28T17:44:00.000-05:00

Yeah and hallelujah - I finally have internet in my house!!! Yes, can you hear me shout?!?!

Ok, but get this. It only took about 3 months to get it hooked up. For real. Poor Dan, our missionary computer whiz. He had so many challenges in getting us hooked up to wireless on our compound. The electricity would go off. Or the current would be too strong and would blow something. Or the cables were too short and we had to wait for missionaries coming from America to bring new ones. Or the rains would come. Or the back up battery charger would die. Or I would not be at home at the moment Dan had a second to hook me up. Or Or Or.... ok folks, appreciate your internet.

And so then what happens? Yesterday, ta da, Dan does his magic and I have wireless in my house!!! But, oh yes, my computer battery charger got fried because the stabilizer hooked up to my electricity had a short - sending too much power into my charger and poof. No battery. No internet. Can you believe it?

So. Now I have a couple of Nigerian guys 'fixing' my charger, but you can bet my Dad is already online, ordering one to send with the Chicago Team coming in 2 weeks.

My neighbor, Lauren, fell asleep while we were watching a movie on her laptop (cuz my dvd player also got fried - but I think that actually will be fixed by one of my friends). So, while she snoozes, I stole her laptop so I can get online in my house (!) and get a blog posted. This is fantastic. And a new beginning to my blogs, I hope.

The plan was to send a blog out every week, at least. To use my blog as a way to just be real about life in Nigeria.

Well, folks, when it takes me getting into my truck and over to the office to get online and then to try to download pics and... ok, so I got lazy, but as soon as my computer is up and running, or whenever Lauren lets me snatch hers, I will be back in the Blogging Business, better than ever.

Kid Update -
I just love our little kids. We had a debate today about whether or not we should watch Karate Kid 2 at tomorrow's 'Film Night', or to allow all the kids to vote on which movie to watch. I was able to bring a projector out here and now have the whole set up of speakers and such so that we can watch a movie on the 'big screen' (large white sheet) under the stars. Last month we watched Karate Kid 1. The older boys were kinda bummed cuz they had already seen it. But man, our little ones had a blast. And wouldn't you know, they were doing 'The Crane' afterwards!

All that to say, Aunty Erin agreed with the little ones today that they should get to see Karate Kid 2 because the older ones "always get their way". And as we agreed on this, some kids started breaking into the moves.

Road Trip

2007-07-01T13:43:00.000-05:00

I spent the last week traveling to three of our Care Centers that are in different parts of Nigeria. The purpose of the trip was to give them Hep B vaccines, assess their health and nutrition, and collect information on new children.

I am still reeling from all that God showed me, the tragic things these kids have gone through, the magnitude of our responsibility to care for them, the commitment of the Nigerian staff to live very simple lives in pursuit of giving these kids hope and a safe place to live.... so much that I am still processing. We just got back into Jos a few hours ago, and I am shattered and ready to crash. But I wanted to post a few of the pics I took...

Pic #1 Care Center Makurdi - is located in a village. These children live near the center and I saw them one morning, drawing water from the well. They were laughing and talking and were thrilled to have me 'snap' their picture and then show it to them afterwards.

Pic #2 Unlike the boys in our Urban Center in Jos, the other centers are in small towns or villages and the kids do not get many visitors. In fact, we were the first visitors in a year to visit two of the centers. The kids are starving for love and recreation. I was able to take them puzzles and UNO and coloring books that were donated by folks in the States. Here is a pic of them, all gathered under the one light bulb available.

Pic #3 The staff and I interviewed all the new children and did updates on the ones who have been in the ministry for over a year. It was heartbreaking to hear why the children are not living at home - so much pain and rejection and tragedy - but also a lot of joy and hope.

Pic #4 Here's a group of our young ones in their school uniforms. You can see that the shirts are full of holes, yet the kids proudly wear them because they know that the chance to go to school is a huge blessing. All kids in Nigeria have to pay school fees each term and many families cannot afford it. Our ministry also struggles to make ends meet to send all of our kids to school.

More to come....

Sunday Entertainment

2007-06-24T13:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry, no photo for this one. But keep reading because I think you'll be entertained :)

A few weeks ago I went to church where a lot of our kids from our Jos Care Center go. Alheri Church is a 5 min walk from where they live and has about 300 in the congregation. So I took Kirsten, a gal here for the summer, to the church since the boys were going to sing a 'special number', as they call them here. The boys were precious and the lead singer, Augustine (age 12), even dropped to his knees as he sang. Very cute. Then a guest speaker got up to preach about mathematics. Yep, math from the pulpit. It was pretty farfetched and I was kinda embarrassed because Kirsten was with me. The guy meant well, trying to tie in Scripture to explain how we can honor God in math. Or something like that. Sigh.

Well, I heard that our boys were going to sing again for the church today. I love to hear them sing, so I thought I would try Alheri again, this time taking a new gal, Lauryn, who is here for 10 weeks. Once again, the kids did a great job. Part of the service includes welcoming visitors, so Lauryn stood up and said she is here to serve with Gidan Bege. And then the pastor asked if she is married and she just looked over at me and I smiled and told her to sit down. So then the pastor changed the subject. Smart man. However, his sermon was on prayer. And he was doing a good job encouraging us in the necessity of prayer and using Jesus' prayers on earth as an example. I was relieved that this sermon was legit and so I relaxed. But, at the end, he said it was now time for the congregation to pray for one another. And he said that we need to pray for 'our sisters here from Gidan Bege' (Lauryn and me), that God will bring us our 'life partners' and that we will follow God's will so that we can get married. Well.
THEN he asked anyone to stand who wanted prayer for their life partner and Lauryn and I stayed seated. It was like there was a silent understanding that if we stand, we are putting ourself on the market. So finally the service ended and we walked back to the Care Center. Lauryn laughed and said " I wondered if they were going to start the bidding right there!" We just laughed and laughed and the kids joined in with us. I thought to myself that Alheri Church had earned a spot on my blog. So, there you have it.

We may not get solid spiritual food in church, but perhaps we can get a life partner. :)

2007-06-10T07:47:00.000-05:00

Part of missionary life is the constant good-byes. Last week we said good-bye to Tim Schmidt, who may come back long-term at some point. Sure, saying bye is not always fun. BUT, there are definite perks, such as when they sell the things they no longer want or cannot take on the plane with them - like this bag of Starbuck's! Tim had a great stash of stuff and I bought alot of it - ranch dressing, starburst, flavored tea, crystal light packets, candles, hot chocolate...

So, while the mission family is sad when folks leave... we also line up to buy all their goodies they are leaving behind :)

My house

2007-05-29T15:18:00.000-05:00

Lots of folks ask me about my house in Jos, Nigeria.

- The first pic is of one of my dogs, Chloe, on the pathway in my backyard.

- Second pic is of my house. I am blessed to have a house, as a single, as most singles with our mission have to stay in apartments. I live on a compound with other Nigerians, some missionaries and there are also church offices and a pharmacy. It is pretty busy and noisy. I wish I could take my yard and my house to a quieter place. Sigh. Count your blessings :)

- Water tanks. These babies are a huge necessity. The 'city water', regulated by the govt, is not always on. So when it does come, it goes into the black tank. Once that is full, I hit a switch and the water is pumped up into my 'reserve' tank, the orange one. We can go days without any water from the city.

- Mama Mango Tree. This is one of two huge mango trees in my yard. Unfortunately, the mangoes are so far off the ground that when they fall, they get busted. So I really don't get the benefit of the trees. Also, every item of clothing has to be ironed after drying on the line, to kill the eggs of mango flies. These babies, if not killed, can hatch under your skin. Yuck.

2007-05-27T14:19:00.000-05:00

Food! While I was in the States I shared how we needed funds to provide healthier food to our children. God provided and here are a couple happy, thankful children! Here they are eating groundut and spinach soup - it actually tastes pretty good, despite the looks of it.

I had a good reunion with the Nigerian Missionary Children, whose parents live in the deepest parts of the bush to share the Gospel. About 100 kids live in a boarding school in Jos and I peek in on them from time to time. God provided a Nigerian nurse to care for them, too. Here we are at our party, with lots of coke and bread and butter - like I mentioned before, these are real treats for them.

A day

2007-05-21T15:25:00.000-05:00

It was a good day, but very full:

- Went to SIM office to download emails, get money, greet people

- Off to Gidan Bege to meet Mrs. Gona, who has been caring for the Nigerian Missionary Kid's since I have been gone (praise God). What a joy-filled woman. We talked about the need for better food for the kids (working on it), medicine, how her own kids cannot go to school because no money to pay for the school fees, and then we prayed together. Look forward to getting to know her more.

- Our weekly management meeting of folks in charge of various parts of the entire ministry (medical, outreach, sports, etc). It is a colorful array of Americans, a Canadian, a Danish, and Nigerians. We are all trying to understand one another's cultures and today was a trying one. It had to do with the issue of money. Hmm. I hate money sometimes. It ended Ok, but will take some time and lots of prayer to really get to the heart of the matter. Do we as Westerner's cripple the ministry because we have access to funds and have to make decisions on how to spend them? Do the Nigerians depend on us too much? Not questions to be answered quickly. Sigh.

- Greeting the kids at Gidan Bege (these guys are waiting to be transferred to their permanent home in our Care Center in Gyero). Greeting folks here is super important and if you neglect this - wow - you have really offended them. So, gotta be sure to do it.

- Rushed back home for lunch (yummy Nigerian rice - food discussion is for another blog). Met the electrician bc my lights keep flickering and find out I need another stabilizer because the current keeps fluctuating, which can either blow my lights and electronics or not get enough power into my fridge. Also may need a new car battery to run my little lights when our electricity goes off. Man, am glad for Mark the Electrician.

- Try to keep my dogs from attacking said Mark the Electrician's friends who came to greet him (they do not like men).

- Off to Transition House to see some sick kiddos. Thanks to some handy kits I got donated, I was able to test three of them for Malaria - all of them have it. Treat them and explain meds to the uncle (staff in the house). Care for some wounds, decide a kids tooth needs to be extracted and will call dentist, arrange for an uncle to take three different kids to different appointments tomorrow (yeah for delegation!), meet with the head cook about the list of food to get this week for the kids.....

- Back home for dinner, a chat with Harvey, a missionary who has been here for 41 years (!) and here I am.

Well, not sure all this will interest many of you. But, hey, it is my blog :)

2007-05-10T14:50:00.000-05:00

Girls!!! I finally got to meet our precious girls, who are new to our ministry. They are precious, trusting and oh so fun. They are all dressed up for my welcome back party in Gyero - our rural Care Center.

Presents!!! Thanks to donations, I was able to give each child a new bag, which is very helpful as they have to share cupboards.

Gyero!!! Our rural Care Center, about 40 min from where I live, is set in the beautiful countryside and the kids are so sweet. We had a wonderful welcome back party with gifts (for them), bread and butter and cokes (super special treats).

Prayer - please check out the monthly prayer calendars at http://www.webmissions.net/erinrigsby/support.htm

First legitimate blog from Nigeria

2007-04-30T15:39:00.000-05:00

Yes! The 10 boxes made it with me to Nigeria. Yes! I was able to sleep on the planes (at least a little). Yes! I survived the trip to Jos, even though we got stopped on the road for an hour by some lovely people - but were allowed to pass with no harm done. Thanks for praying!!!

Now I have settled in bit, wanted to share my welcome back party --

Before I went to Transition House, where the kids live, I called and let them know I was on my way and Alex said to wait twenty minutes. I knew something was up. So when I arrived, all the staff were outside to greet me and welcome me back. As I hugged them, I kept looking around for the kids and they started laughing. "Ok, I said, " I love you all but I really want to see the boys." I was told that the kids were hiding and that I would have to find them. I figured it was pretty tough to hide 70 boys, but it took awhile for me to find them. Finally, a little black head was spotted peaking from behind a wall and off running I went to get them! It was a wonderful reunion with lots of laughing and whistling and so forth. After praise and worship, I passed out bread and cokes. THEN came the gifts of jersey's for every boy, which they loved!!!

I am still trying to figure out how to get these pics in place on my blogs, but here you go. Will figure that out another time. :)

2007-04-28T16:15:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Laurie, from Chicago, passed away last Monday, April 23rd.

I received the message when I arrived in Nigeria on Wednesday. It is such a shock and it is difficult to grieve when I am on the other side of the world. I take some comfort in the fact that she and I had a wonderful time together in Chicago when I visited in September. Here is a pic of us enjoying a Chicago Bears game together.

Back In Nigeria!

2007-04-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to let you know that I have arrived safely in Nigeria. The 40+ hour trip was pretty uneventful - which is a great thing!

I cannot get online every day, which is an adjustment, and it makes it a bit difficult to get a good blog to you at this point. I am borrowing my friend's computer at the moment and wanted to just send a shout of praise to God for His faithfulness and protection.

More to come!

Dreaming of a white... Easter?

2007-04-08T18:25:00.000-05:00

What a treat to watch snow fall from the Texas skies the day before Easter! My parents and I marvelled at how beautiful the snow looks against the green grass and trees.

I have two more weeks in the States and lots of things are extra special to me, because I know I will be saying good-bye to them soon...cream cheese, constant electricity, anonymity, cream cheese, quiet afternoons, card games with my families, pizza, broadband, good water pressure, Sonic Drive-In, no lines at the gas station, mexican food, Wal-Mart, movie theaters, and of course, Starbucks (thank goodness for those gift cards!).

But wait, what am I thinking? I can look forward to:

mangoes, tropical storms (those are incredible!), palm trees, dancing in church, walking everywhere, bargaining for food prices, seeing my two dogs, spending time with my dear friends Ritmua and Lami, and ......

SEEING MY BOYS!!!!! WHOO - HOO!!! I am SO excited to see the kids!!!!

It is ok to ask

2007-03-13T21:39:00.000-05:00

What a gorgeous Texas morning. I sat on the front porch and just drank in the silence, the sweet smells, and the incredible sunrise. I just love it when trees come into bloom after the rains come.

The thunder and lightning are so powerful and to me, communicate God's power and sovereignty. The rains bring freshness, vitality, and rebirth to our land. God's might is displayed in our lives and He desires to bring His power and rebirth into our lives each day.

My mom has been pouring over Nehemiah and I had to ask her why. I mean, I just naturally turn to the New Testament because it is familiar to me. The Old Testament sometimes seems daunting and really intense. Know what I mean? She said Nehemiah is a great book to read if we feel God is moving us to a new place in life or if we need direction. Cool. Because that is where I am!

The past few months of rest and healing have been incredible and my eyes have been opened in many ways. I praise God for doing a new thing in my heart and for allowing me to return to Nigeria (soon I hope!) with a new song to sing.

So I started reading Nehemiah this morning, while on the front porch. Good stuff. Intense stuff. I need to remember that this man was just that - a man. And yet, he called on God's power and God showed him favor.

I love it in Chapter 2 verses 7 and 8 how Nehemiah was not afraid to ask the king for help. The text note shares that we should not be reluctant to ask others for help. People will usually surprise us by how willing they are to help us meet our needs, whatever the need may be.

So, take it from Nehemiah, who first asked God and then asked man. It is ok to ask for help.

Pray for sick children

2007-02-14T07:48:00.000-06:00

Over the past two weeks, 10 of our kids in Nigeria have been hospitalized for various reasons, at various times. As you can imagine, this is very difficult for the children and for the staff to handle. I have called Nigeria a few times and prayed with the kids who are sick. The staff is really doing well and we are thankful there is a hospital nearby.

It is possible, even probable, that this is a spiritual attack that is being manifested in physical sickness. God has protected the lives of the children and not one of our kids in the 11 years the ministry has been running, has died. We are still trusting He will return Usseini, but only He knows.

The reality is that many children in our ministry have come from satanic or islamic backgrounds. God rescued them out of Satan's army and the enemy continually fights against us. This has happened since day one of the ministry. However, this is the first time that so many children are being affected physically.

Whether it is a spiritual attack or a coincidence that all these kids are sick, they still need our prayers.

So can you please pray, for 30 seconds each day, for the physical and spiritual healing and protection over the children and the staff in Nigeria?

2007-02-02T18:54:00.000-06:00

Yep, that's me on the radio!!!! How fun is that? I was invited by Steve Burke to join him and his colleague for an hour of discussion of missions, my life in Nigeria, and how BIG our God is. I really enjoyed it. It is a local station (Temple, Belton, Killeen) KTEM 1400AM. The show will air this Sunday 10-11am. It was a great experience and I pray God uses it to move people outta their comfort zones and into His battle - the battle of Hope.

2007-02-02T17:44:00.000-06:00

This week, Temple Bible Church hosted the

African Children's Choir. I felt right at home among these beautiful children. They are from Uganda and are seven to ten years old. Just like in Nigeria, they called me Auntie. :) ahhhhh.

I enjoyed cooking a meal for them at the church, watching them sing and dance, and also joined them on an outing to the Inflatable Funland! What a trip. The children have been on tour since May and sing 4 times a week. It was so fun to see them enjoying themselves so much. I joined in on the bouncing for about 10 seconds before my lungs told me to stop (bummer) but it was worth it!

2007-01-29T10:44:00.000-06:00

My heroes, the children who, in the face of suffering, poverty and death, choose joy and contentment because they know the ONE who will save them from this world.

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Let's Go Bears!!!

2007-01-21T22:30:00.000-06:00

I may be from Texas, but I LOVE the Chicago Bears! BUT, I was sure glad to be rooting for them while sitting in my parent's warm house in Texas. :)

And yes, if da Boys were to be winning, I would be rooting for them too...

pic with childhood friend, Rebekah, and her precious baby Gillian Grace on Game Day